The Art of Spiritual Connection with Elana Merzin
In this episode of the Kindling Project podcast, Melissa Halpin and Elana Merzen Weinstein discuss the importance of reclaiming creativity and spirituality, especially during challenging times. They explore personal transitions, the healing power of art, and the significance of building authentic communities. Elana shares her journey of reconnecting with her artistic self through ancient practices like Counting the Omer, emphasizing the universal themes of healing and self-discovery. They discuss the challenges of navigating personal and collective healing, the significance of connecting with nature, and the power of women supporting each other in their creative journeys. The Wilderness Collective is introduced as a sanctuary for women to share their stories and reclaim their spiritual and creative selves.
Connect with Elana!
tikkunelana@gmail.com
https://www.tikkunelana.com/
https://www.instagram.com/tikkunelana
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tikkunelana/
Listen to the full episode:
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Melissa Halpin (00:01.224)
Welcome back to the Kindling Project podcast. Today my guest, Elana Merzen Weinstein, is joining me to talk about her community that she's building, the Wilderness Collective. You can find her at tikkunelana.com We'll have that in the show notes at the end of this. And our conversation today, we've really decided is gonna be about reclaiming creativity and how to deal with burnout and take care of yourself.
during really kind of trying times for artists and empaths. That's where she and I have connected over the last few years. She's been a member of the Kindling & Project community and attended some of our events. You can find a live event that she did in the Kindling Project Ignite group around creativity. And I'm just so happy to have her. Welcome, Elena.
Elana Merzin (00:54.51)
Thanks so much, Melissa. This is like, it's a long time coming, so I'm glad we're finally doing it.
Melissa Halpin (00:59.494)
Yeah, me too, me too. I know you've been a big supporter and participator. And I think that our community has just grown to know you and love you and recognize you as a creative spirit. And I know that's where you and I cross over. So let's get into it. How have you been taking care of yourself in these super trying times?
Elana Merzin (01:22.334)
well let's just hold a moment for for all of us who are really going through it. The creatives, the empaths, those that have deep feelings that are feeling so much around what's going on in this world, around what's not happening in this world, and so many emotions really wrapped into a lot of everything all at once.
Melissa Halpin (01:26.962)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (01:38.376)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (01:47.612)
Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of overwhelm, especially for if you identify as highly sensitive and even if you haven't given yourself that label, just for women and for creatives and for definitely the communities that you and I are in and participating in and serving. hear it every day.
Elana Merzin (02:09.132)
Absolutely, well hopefully this conversation, which I do think Melissa will help bring some really deep healing and nourishment to the world and to the Kindling Project and to whoever stumbles upon this recording.
Melissa Halpin (02:17.062)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (02:25.8)
I love that. So I know you've been on a journey and congratulations to you. One of the things that you've accomplished recently is getting your license as a clinical social worker amidst moving across country amidst starting a new business. Where do you want to start?
Elana Merzin (02:44.59)
Yeah, we can start like, I guess we can start now. So I, I'm actually looking outside right now at the foothills. We are in Boulder, Colorado. We moved here about a month or so ago and really felt this. Oh, I see like a woodpecker. It's really beautiful. So I'm going take a picture of it. Yeah. So you can see it. It's, I can't believe it's like right there. So, um, wow.
Melissa Halpin (02:58.652)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (03:04.274)
Yeah. Okay, perfect.
Elana Merzin (03:14.638)
Pretty cool. Okay. So we're in nature, which is a big part of why we came here. I was feeling a sense of this desire to come back to Colorado to do some deep healing work, whatever that means. And it's been, it's been quite an experience. You know, I've been here before I was here from moved here in 2016 during another time that we were finding ourselves in where
Melissa Halpin (03:18.216)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (03:29.288)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (03:38.952)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (03:43.842)
between worlds, right? Like we're looking for new leadership, for the world. We're very hopeful about like new changes that are happening, right? And I actually moved here to be a field organizer in 2016 where I registered voters across the state of Colorado to keep Colorado blue. I'm really proud of that. And that experience shifted my...
Melissa Halpin (03:56.37)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (04:01.32)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (04:07.549)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (04:11.99)
another kind of these like pivotal moments that was like, Elana, like what you're here to do is is secret and you're making a difference. And so I was here for five years and then I'll take you back. You know, let's take each other back, right? Five years later, what happened? The pandemic happened, right around that time and
Melissa Halpin (04:22.493)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (04:26.343)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (04:29.745)
I know.
Melissa Halpin (04:33.65)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (04:36.418)
Just like, think about this, like where were you in that moment? And I think we forget sometimes like how much we went through during such like an uncertain time that we don't give ourselves enough credit to that like how strong we were and how much we were able to overcome during that time. And really I think that we're in another time like that. So, you know, when we were in the pandemic,
Melissa Halpin (04:43.634)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (04:56.839)
with me.
Melissa Halpin (05:06.471)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (05:06.574)
I found myself between this desire to make a deeper connection with my spirituality. And I'd been here before, Melissa. Like 2014, I was working at this nonprofit for like, you know, several years. I gave my everything to it. So proud of my accolades there. And the organization was shifting as many organizations shift and being a social worker, being a macro social worker.
My positions, you know, they shift a lot and I've never been in position more than three and a half, four years. Like it's, it's always been like, okay, like you're, you're a business here. You accomplish it. You did what you need to do and move on. so again, I was finding myself in this like liminal space in 2019, 2020, where I kind of felt lost and for decades, I wasn't creating art and my background.
Melissa Halpin (05:53.384)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (05:58.61)
Yeah.
Elana Merzin (06:05.012)
is an artist. Like I'm a deeply creative, intuitive being. And I just kind of like out of the blue, I got this like knowledge or this like desire and this knowing that I need to start, you know, connecting again with my spirituality as a Jewish woman and also as a creative. so.
Melissa Halpin (06:19.464)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (06:29.276)
I like, I'm interested to hear more about how those two things weave together for you. And I think that there's really some beautiful things in Judaism that anyone of any faith could be educated on and could approach creativity through. So tell us a little bit more about that.
Elana Merzin (06:49.632)
Absolutely. Yeah, that's like what I'm, I feel that I'm called here to do is to open the eyes of, of everyone that, you know, we're told, we're told one thing, right? We're told like, Hey, being Jewish is one way being Christian is one way being Buddhist is one way. And it's all connected, right? Like all of these religions and these cultures that we, we learn about, we all have one understanding, right? And that's being human.
Melissa Halpin (06:53.522)
Mm-hmm. Okay.
Melissa Halpin (07:14.972)
Mm-hmm.
Right. Yeah.
Elana Merzin (07:19.498)
and contributing to society and being someone who actually cares about the world. Right? And so there is this beautiful phrase in Judaism and Hebrew called Tikkun Olam. And Tikkun means repair, heal, amend. And then Olam means the world, eternity, the universe, can think about divine energy.
Melissa Halpin (07:39.624)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (07:47.474)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (07:49.484)
And so each one of us has the ability to change the world, right?
Melissa Halpin (07:54.834)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (07:56.268)
and we can all do this, I fully believe. And I've seen it in my own life. When I started reconnecting with my spirituality with this like deep sense of like, there's gotta be more of this life. I don't wanna feel burned out by being a, you know, in the systems, being a macro social worker. I want to feel things. I wanna help people and make a difference in this world and make my mark on it. And when I brought the worlds,
Melissa Halpin (08:17.489)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (08:25.546)
of my creative, artistic expression and my in deeply miss like mysticism, which we can get into more of that. And then this part of me that's like. I'm like, know what I'm called here to do something bigger, and it's not just because of like one title or something like that. I have a purpose here and my purpose. I fully believe Melissa is to help other women reclaim their creativity.
Melissa Halpin (08:32.06)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (08:45.02)
Mm-hmm. Right.
Melissa Halpin (08:55.784)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (08:56.628)
and connect with their spirituality and also open their eyes up to a whole other world that they never even knew about. And the way that they can do that is by stepping out of their comfort zone and spending time in different communities.
Melissa Halpin (09:09.426)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (09:13.532)
Yeah. Yeah. I think that connection is something that is missing. Even though there's a wealth of communities sort of bubbling up since the pandemic, and there's certainly a, I know you and I participated in them sometimes side by side, a growing number of sort of outlets for connecting for women. There is a certain amount of.
Elana Merzin (09:16.098)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (09:42.76)
comfort required in order for things to happen naturally and authentically. achieving that, crafting that, delivering that is not easy. It's definitely not easy. It's something to work towards and keep it as a goal of are we building sustainable communities, useful communities, authentic communities, communities that fit with
whatever our own personal missions are, I know for you and I that has a lot to do with creativity. And I know that what you're saying is that it's kind of like a weaving together of your artistic self and your spiritual self. And the way I would describe it for myself is that my artistic self is like my only connection to spirituality. Like making art and designing things and creating spaces, whether it's a
community event or whether it's an abstract painting, that's when the universe channels through me and I feel like I'm part of something bigger and that my life matters. That is how I connect to spirituality, not so much through an organized religion, but it's more of a feeling and a flow for me. And I don't think that's unusual either. I think that that is how a lot of women connect to source or energy or God.
Elana Merzin (10:57.71)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (11:05.23)
Yeah, I definitely can like resonate with that and relate to that. And I actually have my beloved color pencils, just a few of them that I wanted to like. Well, they brought me back to myself. So during the pandemic, let's take it back a few years ago, right? Like I found myself, I left Colorado, I left everything, I left community. I didn't feel like I belonged anymore to the community I created, which I think is also something that we need to think about is like, what do we belong to?
Melissa Halpin (11:08.422)
Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (11:14.375)
I love that you're holding those.
Melissa Halpin (11:25.949)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (11:35.386)
Right. Right.
Elana Merzin (11:35.596)
ourselves, right? And so I came out to Michigan, I found myself in my childhood house in the basement of the art room that I like grew up in. And I was sobbing. Like I, was the first time in my life because I just had got let go from a position that I was giving my entire being into. And I know that so many can relate to this is like when you are in that field,
Melissa Halpin (11:46.588)
Mm-hmm.
and
Melissa Halpin (11:55.762)
If
Elana Merzin (12:05.378)
physically and also like
energetically, you're giving so much of yourself, right? Like being in service of other people, you give, you give, you give, right? And it's amazing. It's amazing you can do that. But then like, how are we giving ourselves nourishment and how are we giving ourselves like what we need? And when I was back in the art room, I had these flashbacks where I spent so many hours growing up.
Melissa Halpin (12:13.351)
Yes.
Melissa Halpin (12:27.986)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (12:33.234)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (12:39.01)
And that was like my sacred cove. That's where I found myself, where I could just channel myself into my art. Everything was okay, even if it wasn't okay, of what was actually going outside in the world. And we can experience this now. We are experiencing this now.
Melissa Halpin (12:42.567)
Right.
Elana Merzin (12:54.338)
When we're actually investing in ourselves and we're pouring into ourselves.
Melissa Halpin (12:57.341)
Mm-hmm
Elana Merzin (13:02.382)
Everything changes. It does. It changes your mindset. When I started creating art again, I literally heard this whisper, create within. I was like, what does this mean? And it might seem like woo woo, it's not. It's really not. Each one of us has the ability to create within. But like, what does that mean for each one of us? Well, very different things, right? And so it brings me back to this practice in Judaism that I found out about when I was...
Melissa Halpin (13:04.146)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (13:14.652)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (13:18.429)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (13:23.624)
Thank
Elana Merzin (13:31.712)
in another liminal space or like between threshold of like just, you know, position ended. What am I doing with my life? Right. And so this practice, it's, it's rooted in ancient Jewish mysticism. It's called counting the Omer. And so counting the Omer to like distill it down a little bit. So Omer means wheat. And during, during like very ancient times,
Melissa Halpin (13:35.048)
Thank
Melissa Halpin (13:41.554)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (13:49.512)
Okay.
Melissa Halpin (13:55.634)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (14:00.162)
thousands of years ago, and listen, I'm not like an expert on this, but I've studied it, right? There's so much destruction happening. Let's just think about this right now in our world. There's so much destruction happening. There's a lot of dismantling of systems, things are shifting. It's happening, whether we like it or not, right? How are we offering ourselves to the world? So these like mystics were like, what can we offer?
Melissa Halpin (14:05.862)
Right, right.
Melissa Halpin (14:10.596)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (14:19.58)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (14:27.325)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (14:27.374)
to make a change. our harvest isn't coming, it's not ready yet, things are not really looking the way that we want it to. And so they offered a sheath of wheat. And then there's like a bunch of things that are connected to this. And this is actually a very universal practice. So counting the umer is also, if you think about it, the chakra system, the tree of life, right? So like in yoga philosophy and in other universal religions.
Melissa Halpin (14:37.458)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (14:44.136)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (14:51.41)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (14:57.56)
we learn about the tree of life. And what is the tree of life? Right? It's energy. It's energy and connection. So counting the Omer, specifically in Jewish tradition, is 49 days. So they put it on the calendar. I only found out about this because I dabbled in more of the observant tradition. I was raised reform and I was not exposed to this. But then,
Melissa Halpin (14:59.656)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (15:08.712)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (15:14.939)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (15:23.624)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (15:27.266)
you know, like moments in my life where I was like in like dark periods or like these like confusing times. I was like, there's gotta be more to this. Like I don't, there's, has to be something that I can grasp that I can hold onto to get me through this really hard time. And so this practice, it helps you like take yourself out of it and also into it. So every day we focus on different attributes of being a human.
Melissa Halpin (15:31.656)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (15:43.912)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (15:50.984)
Okay.
Melissa Halpin (15:54.589)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (15:55.884)
So the first week is all about loving kindness, which is chesed. How is it not universal?
Melissa Halpin (16:00.4)
Right. Well, that's also a Buddhist principle, right? In a Buddhist practice, loving kindness.
Elana Merzin (16:05.582)
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And I, actually, we've talked about this a few times and I'll bring her over here. So I have this book. It literally says counting the Omer within. And I made this during the pandemic. Okay.
Melissa Halpin (16:18.896)
Mm-hmm. Right? So this is a journal and it's a piece of art and it's, yeah, all together, a collage and a journey for you.
Elana Merzin (16:28.524)
Yeah, yeah, basically. Yeah.
Exactly. Essentially like it healed myself back together. And once I found this practice when I was younger, my twenties, it stuck with me. Right. So I wonder. I did, I did.
Melissa Halpin (16:38.632)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (16:42.6)
Mm-hmm.
Now, did you make it over the 49 days? Is it 49 pages or is it 49 lessons or is it structured that way?
Elana Merzin (16:52.972)
It's 49 days. So it starts in the beginning. And I just started kind of like pouring myself into it. I was like, what does this mean? Like loving kindness. And for an entire week, you focus on that theme, but then there's my friend. It gets very like heady. I'm not gonna lie. Which is why like I feel very strongly about this to making it more accessible. So everyone can learn about it. Especially those that are very creative and could utilize.
Melissa Halpin (16:56.774)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (17:03.986)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (17:11.592)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (17:17.789)
Right?
Elana Merzin (17:22.7)
Maybe a different kind of perspective or a different way of looking into themselves.
Melissa Halpin (17:25.394)
Right. It's almost like the structure that you get in art school or through an assignment or through a practice or even a course, right? Whenever you start building some structure around a creative process, you know, it's almost like you need that tension.
Elana Merzin (17:32.95)
Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
Elana Merzin (17:39.615)
Yeah.
Elana Merzin (17:43.648)
Exactly. Yes. And also like a lot of discipline. With creating this book, like it took everything for me. Everything. Like I literally spent hours, right? Like actually remembering how to create art again and how to connect with that part of myself that I felt was lost.
Melissa Halpin (17:47.505)
Right.
Mm-hmm. Right.
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (18:00.466)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (18:07.248)
Now is making a book a traditional way of counting Oma or this is just your personal approach to doing it?
Elana Merzin (18:09.294)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (18:13.038)
Oh, this is my personal approach that came to me through very like synchronistic ways. I got inspired and you know, when I started picking up my color pencils again, it really opened up like a whole world to myself, a whole portal into this way of reclaiming my creativity and spirituality. So the way that it typically is observed is you say a prayer every day.
Melissa Halpin (18:17.096)
Isn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (18:27.236)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (18:38.608)
Right? Mm-hmm. Right.
Elana Merzin (18:41.108)
or every evening. It's very specific, you know, in, let's say like an Orthodox Judaism in that kind of framework, they do it in very different way than I adopted it into my life. And the cool thing is that there's so many different ways like to connect with this practice. That's very like, it can be like the way you want it, right? So just because I created this book, I wasn't planning on creating a book, first of all.
Melissa Halpin (18:52.326)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (19:11.552)
Right. I was planning on just connecting with this practice. I found myself on clubhouse a lot during the pandemic. That was like a thing that people did. I stumbled into rooms that also were connected to this period of time. I had mentors and teachers that, you know, some of them were expressing themselves in creative ways as well during the pandemic. And I think like all those different things like really inspired me. And then I just couldn't, I just.
Melissa Halpin (19:21.778)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (19:26.193)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (19:38.322)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (19:40.45)
Like I couldn't stop. It was like to the point where like I found this part of myself again that I thought I had just given up on. And so it led me back to myself.
Melissa Halpin (19:49.532)
Right. So you got.
So you got to the end of your 49 days, which was essentially a combination of an ancient Jewish practice that you implemented and then your interpretation of it, which was this bookmaking. But where has that experience taken you now? You hold up that book and you talk about how that was a revelation to you and that was like a powerful form of self-care and reconnecting to your inner artist.
But what are you doing with that now? I know that you have a new community. Are those two things linked together?
Elana Merzin (20:27.218)
They totally are. Yeah. Thanks for reminding me because there's so many things I could talk about related to this. So in June of 2024, I, well, first of all, like I did yoga teacher training about, you know, a year or so ago in Michigan. It changed my life. Like I connected different pieces of yoga philosophy to what I learned from the Omer and did some different like weaving of that.
Melissa Halpin (20:33.287)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (20:39.601)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (20:50.629)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (20:54.226)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (20:54.318)
into existence. And I found myself, you know, in June of 2024, in another period of, I'm an entrepreneur, I've gone on this path, you know, past few years, I've reclaimed my creativity, I've reclaimed my creative self, and my deeply spiritual self. What do I do with it, Melissa?
Melissa Halpin (21:13.114)
Right. I think a lot of women are asking themselves that. Right. It's all part of the larger, like, tearing down of systems, rebuilding systems. It's the world we live in right now. There's a lot of turmoil, and there's a lot of kind of self-discovery and rebuilding and reclaiming and reframing.
Elana Merzin (21:16.184)
What do you do with it? What do you do with it?
Elana Merzin (21:32.878)
Yeah. it's perfectly beautiful too, right? Like destruction is, it's not a bad thing actually, right? Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (21:38.289)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (21:43.76)
It's very hard for me to get there. I recognize on the outside that destruction, mean, whether it's a forest fire, whether it's a democracy falling down, whether it's a family needing to move for a job, I mean, whether it's somebody needing a surgery, I do recognize that beautiful things come out of the ashes and that sometimes it's required to burn things down to build them back up. But as a very...
Elana Merzin (22:00.525)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (22:11.642)
sort of soft and sensitive person, it's so hard on my nervous system. It's so hard to process all the more. The more, the more, the energy, the darkness, the turmoil. I feel like some days I just wanna sleep through it and wake me up when it's over.
Elana Merzin (22:16.866)
Yeah, I get it.
Elana Merzin (22:31.564)
Me too, I feel the same exact way. So just so you know, like you're not alone. And there's so many women that need to hear this, that they aren't alone. And it's okay, like some days I can be in bed and not feel an ounce of creativity coming through my body. And some days I'm on fire, right? And like, especially different periods of the Jewish calendar, especially during this time that we'll be here and like, you know, it's...
Melissa Halpin (22:39.186)
Yes.
Melissa Halpin (22:44.146)
Mm-hmm. Right.
Melissa Halpin (22:48.839)
Right.
Right.
Melissa Halpin (22:55.58)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (23:00.778)
April 13th, it begins again. And in the way that I see this happening is I do have the community that I started in June of 2024 called the Wilderness Collective. And the idea is that I've never really felt like I belong to a community because I've moved so many times and I've changed identities a lot and stepped into an embodying different attributes of myself and different characteristics that were really hard to name when I was younger.
Melissa Halpin (23:02.952)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (23:12.753)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (23:16.584)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (23:29.884)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (23:31.0)
when I was going through it, as many of us do. And so the Wilderness Collective is a sacred sanctuary for women across all faiths. So you don't have to be Jewish to join. It really is allowing us to see and witness each other and discern ourselves. And the biggest part is to reclaim our creativity and our spirituality so we can learn from each other. So it's not so...
Melissa Halpin (23:39.464)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (23:51.289)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (24:00.938)
one-sided, like I was raised this way so I believe only in this way, no like we need we need a collective
Melissa Halpin (24:09.33)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (24:11.458)
voice, right? And we need more than ever before. We need not ever before, but we really do need each other.
Melissa Halpin (24:13.191)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (24:20.258)
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Elana Merzin (24:21.838)
And the way that I believe that we can repair and heal this world is by reclaiming ourselves.
Melissa Halpin (24:29.884)
Right? Each individual, it's individual work.
Elana Merzin (24:32.97)
Absolutely, and it's deep work.
Melissa Halpin (24:35.238)
Yeah. And it's overwhelming. It's overwhelming to think about how to repair the world. And it's also overwhelming to think about how to repair yourself. And I wonder if those things are really just one is a reflection of the other, right?
Elana Merzin (24:50.976)
Absolutely. in order for us to repair the world and heal the world, have to heal and repair ourselves. And the biggest aha moment I have, I had today, I was like, am I running away from myself or am I running away to myself? Like what has been this journey of like this wilderness journey, right?
Melissa Halpin (24:55.504)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (24:59.004)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (25:10.801)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (25:15.374)
leaving Michigan, going to Chicago, going to Colorado, moving back to Michigan, then Tulsa, then back to Colorado. It's made me stronger of who I am and like this sense of my identity, but it also can be a very lonely journey and like, where do we belong?
Melissa Halpin (25:19.612)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (25:31.792)
It is moving and starting over. I have actually been in Michigan for 10 years now, but I had a very similar start where in my 20s and 30s, I think we moved 13 times and lived in four states and really kind of did a whole loop around from Michigan to Kansas to California back to Michigan. So I know that.
Elana Merzin (25:54.478)
Wow, what's that?
Melissa Halpin (26:00.808)
I know that experience of not just you're on a personal journey, you're on a career journey, you're in a relationship journey, but you're physically moving from place to place and starting over. not everybody's cut out for it. And even if you embrace it, because I felt like a lot of times we move for jobs. My husband and I had to move in 2009, the Great Recession. We had to move. We had to move in order to work.
or we moved to California for opportunity, or we moved back to Michigan for family reasons. So there was always a good reason for doing it, and I embraced it, but it takes a certain toll. I mean, comes with a lot of lessons, but sometimes when I, I'm back in Michigan where I grew up, and I have friends who have been here their whole lives, and they've never lived in a couple different states, and they've never bought and sold a couple different houses, and it's just.
Elana Merzin (26:43.651)
Good.
Melissa Halpin (27:01.84)
It's hard to explain unless you've done it, like the impact that it has on you. And I feel like more and more people are having to move, like economically having to move, not having a choice.
Elana Merzin (27:12.652)
Absolutely. Yeah, I have no idea where we're going to be in a year. Literally no idea. And I love what you said though. Like that it changes you and like it does take a toll, right? And you can't just do it. it takes a lot of preparation emotionally, physically, spiritually. It takes everything.
Melissa Halpin (27:16.402)
Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (27:23.889)
It does.
Melissa Halpin (27:34.055)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (27:38.714)
It does, it does. And I feel like you almost leave, I don't know if you feel this way, you almost leave a piece of you everywhere you've been. So sometimes you can wake up and, I mean, I've lived in my current house and slept in my current bed for 10 years now, but sometimes when I'm just waking up in the morning, my brain thinks it's waking up in a different room or a different bed or that the sun or the window should be in a different place.
Because it's almost like you're in all the places all the time where you left part of yourself in another place. that's, I think that's also needs to get like kind of woven back into your story and your spiritual journey to really, make sense for your brain, if that makes sense. Because it still happens to me where I almost think I'm in a different room when I'm waking up. Have you had that experience? Yeah.
Elana Merzin (28:22.712)
It does make a ton of sense.
Elana Merzin (28:31.726)
All the time. still have it. I'm like, am I? What state am I in? yeah, like where's my, where's the bed that I was in for 20 years or, you know, 20 something years of my life. And then I'm in a different bed and different community. And I think also like, and that's okay. Like it's, it's okay to, it's okay to, to wander and to, to find yourself. I think it's actually really important and not everyone has that ability. takes a lot of privilege, right? And
Melissa Halpin (28:35.997)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (28:51.592)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (28:55.74)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (28:59.975)
Yeah.
Elana Merzin (29:02.222)
And just a lot of everything, it really does. But I think like the biggest thing that we can learn from this, this period of time that we're in is no matter where we are in this world or where we are, you know, like in our career or our life, we have ourselves and we have our ability to create within. We do whatever that means for us. Right. And so
Melissa Halpin (29:12.977)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (29:22.29)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (29:27.538)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (29:30.826)
I really encourage like every single woman here who's listening, what did you like growing up? Like what kind of creative artistic expression that you just like, it was home for you, right? When was the last time you picked up those color pencils and that sketchbook to create for you?
Melissa Halpin (29:34.952)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (29:45.98)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah. I think because both of us are artists, we tend to think that it's always art for everybody. But there are a lot of women who say to me, I don't have a creative bone in my body. And I almost don't buy it. I just feel like women are creators, not just that we can create life, but that we're here in some way as the creators, the makers, the doers. You don't have to make a baby, and you don't have to make a painting.
Elana Merzin (30:10.456)
I don't buy it either.
Elana Merzin (30:25.646)
Morning.
Melissa Halpin (30:25.874)
But there's something that you're here to give and to craft.
Elana Merzin (30:31.64)
Totally.
Melissa Halpin (30:32.752)
And the women that I know that are the happiest and the most successful and well balanced, they found what that was for themself. And maybe it's making clothing or maybe it's being a program manager on a construction site. It doesn't have to necessarily be the same tangible item, but there is something about purpose and making that's super important. It's super important now more than ever.
Elana Merzin (30:42.574)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (30:58.744)
Absolutely.
Melissa Halpin (31:01.928)
when we live in these lives that feel sort of intangible, digital, and disconnected.
Elana Merzin (31:01.965)
Really.
Elana Merzin (31:07.534)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (31:13.256)
I mean, I know we all are relying more and more on AI, but I don't want us to give our creativity over to the machines, right? I think that's essentially the core of what being human is.
Elana Merzin (31:18.36)
Hmm.
Elana Merzin (31:30.19)
Absolutely. We have hands, right? And we have our brain, our mind, our body. Absolutely.
Melissa Halpin (31:32.39)
Yep, yep. We have our hearts and our imagination. mean, imagination, think, is the one thing that can't be simulated. I mean, it can't even be repeated from person to person.
Elana Merzin (31:45.654)
No, definitely not. Yeah. And like, even if you don't like, let's say connect with art, each one of us has hands, like I said, right. And so actually I think that every woman could do this. whatever like comfort level they have with it, it just starts small is like, literally like I made these like creative, I like to call them like creative awakening cards and
Melissa Halpin (31:51.304)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (32:01.8)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (32:13.5)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (32:15.682)
by like actually creating something with your hands, it changes your mind. It does, right? Instead of like digitally, like what are we doing physically with our bodies, with our voices?
Melissa Halpin (32:18.919)
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Melissa Halpin (32:29.23)
Mm-hmm. Right.
Melissa Halpin (32:37.992)
So we've touched on, I'm trying to put some structure because I think both you and I tend to in our conversations. So we touched on art making and making with your hands and spiritual practice and maybe putting it on the calendar and following something like counting omer or a yoga practice or something. What other ways are you?
looking at and sharing for reclaiming creativity.
Elana Merzin (33:10.318)
Definitely taking pause. So taking some stillness, going outside of nature is really important to me. So, you know, wherever you are, you have abilities to go in nature, wherever that is, and simply being with the trees and listening to the birds, right? And putting your feet on the ground and like really rooting into who you are and taking the tannineme.
Melissa Halpin (33:16.497)
nature.
Melissa Halpin (33:23.984)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (33:30.172)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (33:39.334)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (33:40.278)
and every step you take is a sacred gift to yourself. It will also change you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Melissa Halpin (33:48.86)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (33:53.158)
Right. So these are sort of the anecdote to burnout, right? These are the anecdote to the times we're in.
Melissa Halpin (34:04.818)
I love that. I love that you're so consciously crafting those experiences for yourself and for other women. What about the wilderness part? Tell me more about that. I know nature, but I feel like there's something wild there that's a level up from just talking to the trees.
Elana Merzin (34:19.906)
Yes.
yeah, you ready for it?
Elana Merzin (34:30.754)
Yeah, so the wilderness, my gosh. Well, the wilderness collective, if you've heard of, which I'm sure many have heard of, like the hero's journey, right? So we're all like, in speaking of women terms, we're all heroines in our own journey. And so where are we playing the role, like the main character in our life?
Melissa Halpin (34:41.606)
Yep.
Melissa Halpin (34:47.366)
Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (34:55.41)
Right.
Elana Merzin (34:58.03)
Right? And so we each have our own story, our own experience that has shifted our life, our perspective to the world of what we're here to do. And so that's another way, right? And like the Wilderness Collective is all about that, is actually sharing about the wilderness stories of our lives and how there is always a, there's always a thread.
Melissa Halpin (35:07.61)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (35:22.354)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (35:26.604)
There's like this invisible whisper or this theme that keeps showing up for you. For me, it's been deeply like, the gift that I need to give to myself and why I'm here is to reclaim my creativity in a whole different way than I was taught.
Melissa Halpin (35:34.994)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (35:47.075)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (35:52.262)
Yeah. And you find that that is when I think about wilderness. Do you feel like it's lost in the wilderness or that you're closer to it in the wild or it's on some more instinctual level?
How do you describe that for somebody who's like, what exactly are we talking about here?
Elana Merzin (36:17.23)
Yeah, I think that when we connect with nature and we connect with our creativity, our deeply spiritual selves, it's like a reckoning, right? We're being like, okay, I'm here. This is what I was here to do. And the way I can do it is by being one with nature.
Melissa Halpin (36:20.572)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (36:26.524)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (36:45.979)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (36:48.76)
So when we look at our world, it's not the way we want it to be. It never is, right? There's always a crack that's happening. There's always some darkness that's occurring. It's the way of our world. And how can we see not only the light within ourselves, but those tiny little moments?
Melissa Halpin (36:55.826)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (37:00.869)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (37:06.887)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (37:13.692)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (37:18.176)
of lightness that we can hold onto that we can deepen into.
Melissa Halpin (37:19.676)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (37:27.996)
And that is what you're guiding other women towards.
Elana Merzin (37:35.374)
Absolutely. My hope is to be a guide to women that are in this like messy middle, that are in this like threshold of like, okay, the old way isn't working anymore. I'm burned out. I'm feeling exhausted and not feeling connected to my body, to my mind, to my soul, to parts of myself that maybe I've like hidden away. And sometimes very often it is our creative self.
Melissa Halpin (37:44.828)
Right.
Melissa Halpin (37:50.812)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (37:55.771)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (38:05.16)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (38:05.537)
that we're being told, like, you're not that creative. you're not that artistic. What parts of ourselves need to be seen and what parts of ourselves need to be healed?
Melissa Halpin (38:10.79)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (38:17.586)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (38:23.11)
Yeah. It's funny how those messages are so sticky. mean, I'm five decades into this life, and messages from early, early childhood still stick with me. Yeah. And even if they weren't a direct message from a direct person, sometimes it's a cultural or social message that you got, that this isn't cool or.
Elana Merzin (38:27.086)
Yeah, absolutely.
Elana Merzin (38:37.422)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (38:52.794)
you're too old for that or you know don't be messy or don't be don't be too much that's that's always a big one for artists and creatives and women you know somehow make yourself smaller and easier to get along with
Elana Merzin (39:00.78)
Thank
Elana Merzin (39:09.654)
Yeah, I can definitely relate to that. And it stays with you, right?
Melissa Halpin (39:18.118)
Yeah, it's hard to overcome.
So where can women in our community find you? If they want to join the Wilderness Collective, if they want to hear you talk, if they want to buy your book, if they want to look at your artwork, tell us where they can connect with you.
Elana Merzin (39:34.486)
Absolutely. Well, this was such an honor to chat with you. I'm sure we'll have more conversations in the near future and woman can find me. I'm on all social media platforms on Instagram and other social media platforms. I am to Kuhn Elana. So T I K K U N E L A N A on Instagram. That's where you can find me at most. I'm also on LinkedIn. I like to
Melissa Halpin (39:39.453)
Yeah.
Melissa Halpin (39:51.016)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (40:03.138)
be more of a storyteller there and it's a different platform. So I really enjoy that. And then they can also find me on my websites, tikkunelana.com So T-I-K-K-U-N-E-L-A-N-A.com. And then for the Wilderness Collective, we'll love to have you part of it. It's entirely free right now. It's on Facebook currently. And the website is the, so T-H-E.
Melissa Halpin (40:26.77)
Mm-hmm.
Elana Merzin (40:30.828)
willedharness. So w-i-l-d-each-r- sorry, each-h. So t-h-e-w-i-l-d-h-e-r-n-e-s dot c-o. And they can join the Facebook group. There's gonna be a lot that will be happening. I am looking to co-create. So this is not just, you know, one and done kind of thing. Like this is really a movement that I deeply believe in and
Melissa Halpin (40:45.448)
Okay.
Elana Merzin (41:00.736)
I'm calling in wild, creative, eccentric women, those that maybe are called like weird, those that maybe identify as neurodivergent, please come and join our community. You'll be welcomed just as you are. And I always say, bring all of you. Like all of you is welcome.
Melissa Halpin (41:06.098)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Halpin (41:27.368)
I that. I love that. I really relate to your sensitive creative spirit. I've enjoyed looking at your art and hearing even more so about the process of making it, how you combined it with Jewish mysticism I think is fascinating. So thanks for talking to today. I know you'll continue to be part of this community and I hope women find you in your community and I think that's really...
Part of how we're repairing the world right now is building these communities.
Elana Merzin (41:58.094)
Yeah, and the hope is that I would love to do a podcast sometime soon and invite women who also can relate to this wilderness journey of, what does it mean to belong to yourself? And your creative and sacred gifts, this is what the world needs. If we're not doing it now, what are we doing? This really is our moment and we were born for this. So I'm excited.
Melissa Halpin (42:01.798)
Yep.
Melissa Halpin (42:07.517)
Yep.
Melissa Halpin (42:19.312)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, we're here now. Yeah, I remind myself we're here right now for a reason. Each and every one of us.
Elana Merzin (42:28.162)
We are, and the world needs us to help others also reclaim their gifts and to take this moment and to honor it too.
Melissa Halpin (42:40.658)
Thanks for taking time with me today.
Elana Merzin (42:42.69)
Thanks, Melissa. This was such a blast. Okay, thank you. Bye.
Melissa Halpin (42:44.68)
Okay, talk to you soon. Bye.