Connecting to your roots
Have you struggled with finding your way but found that you respond and react in a way that no longer serves you? Do you feel gaps in your daily practice of connecting to yourself? Do you think that being humble is a barrier rather than a superpower? In this TKP podcast, Amy and Mic discuss the latest workbook from The Kindling Project, Tending Your Roots - A Daily Connection to Your Emotional, Spiritual, and Physical Well-Being. Amy gets honest with Mic about the challenges and barriers she has experienced personally and professionally that led to creating the workbook. Amy explains that many of her experiences have been full of opportunities to look within while being accountable for her thoughts and reactions.
She has learned that it's not so much about what happens to us but more about how we react. Mic and Amy discuss why willingness is critical to finding clarity in life. Learn how grace, self-love, and forgiveness elevate you to become the best version of yourself!
Listen to the full episode:
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[00:00:00] Monica: Hi everyone, this is Monica. Welcome to the Kindling Project Podcast. Today I am talking with my partner, Amy. We launched a workbook this past month, tending your roots, a daily connection to your emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing. And we wanted to hop on here and tell all our listeners all about this workbook. As many of you know, Amy's like the third leg of our operations. Let me read her bio for you all. Amy's a therapist, speaker, national trainer, intuitive healer, yoga instructor, wife, sister, twin, and mom of boys. Amy has been a leader and clinical social worker in southeast Michigan for 30 years. Her work experience includes victim advocacy in the Wayne County Child and Family Abuse Bureau, ronald McDonald Mod House Michigan Medicine, Gift of Life, Michigan Consulting, and Private Practice. She's working towards her PhD in social work and is ready to begin her dissertation. 30 years of working with clients, Amy had a vision to publish a workbook to help women get to the root of the many issues we carry. After months of work, our team at the Kindling Project produced and released the content. The workbook's, a straightforward lesson plan for women ready to show up, do the work, and get honest with themselves. The honesty begins with deep dives into barriers that stop us from becoming the best version of ourselves. The primary focus is learning how to tend our emotional, spiritual, and physical roots. Definitely this is a passion project of yours. You came to us, to our team with your kindling project, and we helped you bring it to life. Ironically, really, as a founder, you know our mission is to create a space to fuel and fan that tiny little fire inside all of us. You were a little bit of a hat of the client hat for this particular thing, and it's been a lot of fun because as you know, since as a founder, you're well aware that we are here to inspire women, but also we are creating this space for ourselves, for our projects. And this is just a really great example of a kindling project.
[00:01:58] Amy: Yes. You're so right and let me just say that although I've had this workbook and many other ideas in my head, I could not have done it without you and Melissa because you helped me bring this whole concept actually into a reality. So I have to give you two major props on that because it would still be floating around in my head. So thank you.
[00:02:23] Monica: Oh, well you're welcome. And it's been a lot of fun and it is been a great learning curve for all of us. But can you describe in your words what this workbook is all about?
[00:02:33] Amy: So I would say that what I've been realizing about the Tending your roots is that this is really about how we as women can connect to ourselves on a daily basis. So all of that stuff that you read about me of what I've done, I haven't been able to do that without figuring out what doesn't work. Okay. And I learned Monica, early on that if I don't tend to my own roots, and I'll tell you a little bit about why I use the word, chose the word roots, but I realized, Monica, if I don't tend to my roots daily, I'm gonna be ashes on the ground. And so this is a workbook of components that I know work because I practice them every day. And I can honestly say that I do that. So I know it works.
[00:03:23] Monica: Yeah. I think to your point, we're at this stage in our lives where we've partnered enough life experiences that I guess we're all learning. Maybe the hard way that self-development and self-improvement is a process. It takes time. It doesn't just happen and you have to be super mindful. Why don't we dive into the workbook and let's break it down for our fire starters. First of all, why did you call it this?
[00:03:47] Amy: I love the image. I love the name of roots. Okay. I've been teaching yoga for about 16 years. And one of the words I've used for many years is the word roots, because I imagine our bodies, the bottom of our feet, I know this is kind of going out there a little bit, but I'm just going to answer the question truthfully, is that when we're out in the real world kind of thing, I want my body to be connected to the earth. And so I imagine my roots growing into the earth. In the descriptions of when I'm teaching my yoga students about growth, about being fluid in our thinking, not just our body, I use those descriptions of roots. So connecting to the sky or the earth or just something outside of ourselves. So I think that in order to feel some sort of balance or feel connected to something, we have to have roots. So that's essentially how I went with the word root. It's a very symbolic image for me to see roots in the ground. I love seeing like real live roots, but also pictures of tree roots, you know, of really old trees. I feel a spiritual connection to them.
[00:04:59] Monica: This workbook's broken down into five sections. So lesson one, without going into too many details, you really talk about your "why" in speaking your truth, and willing to be willing. There's a lot of these themes throughout the workbook. I'm curious, what was your "why" when it comes to producing or writing this workbook in particular?
[00:05:19] Amy: These are things that I've mulled over in my head for years, Monica, but what I realized, especially in the last few years, working directly in a clinical setting with clients, is that I found that oftentimes when people wanna start something or they wanna change something, or they want to do more self-reflection, they really have to understand why. And they also have to understand what their narrative is. I talk a lot about narrative. Oftentimes what I'm referring to is the narrative that we have always told ourselves in our minds. In other words, if I'm told something, maybe as a child I'm never gonna be able to be a doctor because I'm not smart enough, or I'll never be able to be a really good friend because I'm not a nice person. If somebody told me whether I was a parent or a sibling or a teacher, if somebody told me something long ago, for some reason that stuck with me, and over time it became my truth. So if I have always told myself, I'm not smart enough, I'm not a good reader, I'm not a good public speaker. I'm going to believe that as my truth. So in order to tend to our roots, we have to really deconstruct what is that narrative, because that is what is going to help shift the lens for us to be able to truly look inward in a more open-minded space.
[00:06:42] Monica: Yeah. I imagine though, for a lot of people, Amy, changing that narrative is a very difficult, it's like something that is just part of who they are. So how do you change that?
[00:06:52] Amy: Well, first of all, you have to want to change it. You have to want to change it with anything, we have to wanna do it. The other component to Monica is just teaching someone, this is what I'm hearing. This is what your narrative is. Is this true? Is what you tell yourself actually the same thing as what you're doing? Because oftentimes our emotions and our thoughts don't align with our actual actions. So I've had women tell me, even since promoting the workbook, they come up and say, just even me saying something about their narrative, they're like, why have I been telling myself this? Because I'm not actually even doing it. So a lot of it is just creating that level of awareness, raising the bar of mindfulness of, oh my gosh, I never realized. That's what I'm actually doing. And even though it might seem complicated, it's actually a pretty simple fix. You just have to be very intentional on how to make that change. And that's what we start to go through throughout the workbook is that once you have that level of awareness raised, then the lessons start to really teach you how to practice that. just because maybe have it figured out for one day, it doesn't mean it's all figured out forever. You have to continually practice it until it becomes hardwired in your thinking.
[00:08:08] Monica: I guess, like everything else, right? If you practice a muscle long enough, it's become secondary. But we have been practicing that narrative for so long that it has become hardwired, and like you said, it's almost like a software upgrade, internal software upgrade that maybe everyone's ready for our 2.0 version of all ourselves.
[00:08:25] Amy: But here's the rub- now, once women become aware of it, though, that narrative has become so much of their truth, that even though they know it doesn't serve them anymore, they become so dependent on that thinking that it's scary to think about changing it even though they know they have to or they really want to. It becomes, I call it an appendage that doesn't serve you any longer. So oftentimes you have to really be willing to say, okay, you served me all these years, third arm, but I'm letting you go now. Now it is time I have to let this go in order to create space for something healthy for me. So it's a push -pull. It's definitely a process. That's why there's five lessons to this workbook.
[00:09:07] Monica: How long does it usually take based on your experience to actually have this breakthrough for the narrative?
[00:09:13] Amy: I wish I had the answer. We'd be sitting on a yacht somewhere, probably in the Mediterranean if I did. I would say Monica, that it really depends on their willingness to stay real with themselves, their willingness to call themselves out, their willingness to stay accountable to themselves. Some days are easier than others. But I would say if you stay consistent and you stay accountable it's really a matter of time. I'm hesitant to give a number because I just don't know. I think it's all about how much that person wants to do it. Now, that's why therapy is good, because if you have someone that's reminding you until it really becomes hardwired, but usually there's other things that have to be worked through as well. It's a process. But man, it is so worth it because once you really get through it. It's like going through the muck. Once you get through the muck and you come out the other side, there's no going back. So it's worth the work for sure.
[00:10:08] Monica: Do you remember the moment when someone called you out on your shit and be like, Amy, what is this narrative you've been telling yourself? Do you remember that moment and how old were you? Can you take us back to that?
[00:10:18] Amy: Gosh, that's such a good question because I've always been really good at providing support for people, but I think it was really probably when I had just turned 40 and I realized that I had dependency on some really unhealthy substances and things just weren't working for me anymore. I thought that I was managing and maintaining. I had been through eight years of caregiving for my mom with her disease of cancer. I had been through grad school. I had so much in my life personally, and I just really crashed and burned. And I realized that I was not able to really be the person that I really wanted to be. You know, I thought that I could keep really faking it till you make it, kind of thing. And I realized I am ashes on the ground. There is nothing left in my tank. And so I had to get so low in my dependency and not being able to stop on my own that I realized,I have to change everything. I have to change everything. I have to get real with myself, and it was so humbling. It was so humbling, Monica, because I had always been that person, always showing up for everybody else and always prioritizing everybody else. There's always these different family dynamics and things just fall on different people's shoulders and things like that. So it's not that there were any regrets at all, but it was also about what can I really do here and what is my part in things? So I think as women, we all have our different, I would say bottoms. You know, what is my bottom? And maybe it's an emotional bottom. Maybe it's a physical bottom, a spiritual bottom. I know for me it was everything. You know, it was a spiritual disconnect. It was a physical disconnect. It was emotional disconnect. And that's why I put these as roots in the workbook because I know for me that if I'm not practicing daily a physical, Spiritual and emotional connection, then I have some sort of deficiency. I have a gap in how I'm actually producing, connecting, loving myself, starting with myself because if I'm not doing that for me, everybody else around me is only gonna get those versions.
[00:12:38] Monica: Yeah. I think that what you said, Amy, is what makes this workbook different than what's out there in many ways is that you have experienced this yourself. You know what it's like to be at the other end and maybe a little resistance of saying, I'm okay, you know, I've got this worked out. But when things come crashing down, you start realizing, oh, there's some elements happening here that I have to go inward. And you've done that work yourself. And I think that's what makes you extra saucy and spicy for with the job that you do, cuz you really get it and you really connect with your clients, and doing a lot of these launches for this workbook and meeting some of your clients that have just come out to, you know, clap it out for you and they're so proud of you. But you literally have changed their lives. That you've connected with them in such a level that, for the first time they were seen, they were really seen. And I think we were working on this workbook and you were writing all the copies, you were trying so hard to inspire and trigger that connection. So hopefully, It resonates with people because, listen, Amy has poured her heart and love sweat, tears into this workbook, and she really believes in it. It's a really beautiful piece of work. So tell me about your willingness to be willing. You say that a lot and you say it to us a lot. You hold our feet to the fire all the time. So what does that mean to you?
[00:13:58] Amy: So this is the first homework assignment I give clients when I work with them is I say, okay, come back next week with a journal and a pen. And I want you to answer this question. What is your willingness to be willing? So in other words, in six weeks when we've still been working together and we're really starting to drill down some things and you're like Amy, I don't know if I could see you next week, or I got something coming up. That's when the real work is starting. You know how like people say, oh yeah, that sounds great. I'm gonna do that all day long. But when it really comes down to it, how willing are you to make these changes? How willing are you to be accountable to change that narrative? How willing are you to come back to your why? Because if we don't have that willingness, it just doesn't happen. Things can sound great. Oh, yes, let's train for that marathon. That sounds amazing. I can't wait to cross the finish line, but to train for the marathon, I don't think so. You know, so it's just like anything with our mental, our emotional wellbeing, it takes work and it takes time. And so coming back to these roots, I know Monica, that you have to be willing and I think that's, you know, when women are purchasing the book and I'm talking to them and we've done the office hours and everything has been really great feedback so far. But they say, I really do have to be honest with myself here. Because I won't ask anything of somebody that I won't do myself, and that's why I know it works.
[00:15:27] Monica: The willingness too, when I think of that, I always say the desire has to be greater than any excuse. The desire to want to be better and do better has to be greater than any excuse because boy, are we good at making excuses or delaying or procrastinating. I mean, we're pros at this, right?
[00:15:45] Amy: Always. There will always be a reason. There will always be an excuse not to do something, and that's the other thing for women. Women are professional at making excuses. Why? Because they use everybody else. Oh, my husband is this and my kid is at soccer, and I don't wanna hear any of that. If you're here in front of me. If you're ready to do this work, let's do it and let's get real. This is your time, this is your time to get real. So those excuses, they do tend to go out the window over time because then the kids get older or those excuses become less and less.
[00:16:21] Monica: Yeah. It also helps when you work with someone like you, when they show up with the excuses like I always say permission denied. So it only works if people let you get away with it. And sometimes that's what we try to do at the Kindling project and not in a spiteful way, but, Hey, what's the excuse? Why not you? Why not your dreams? Why not your business idea? Why not your kindling project? And I think we believe in that, so I get that. Now, the second lesson, you go into really emotional roots. you really start diving into, okay, what grounds you? So tell me a bit about the emotional root.
[00:17:00] Amy: You know, the emotional root is so much connection to self. It's a lot about, you know, one of my big mantras is always about speaking with intention, speaking our truth. Oftentimes people don't say what they really wanna say because this is what I hear. "I already know what they're gonna say. Why should I say anything? Because I know exactly what they're gonna say. I don't really wanna say it cause I don't wanna hurt their feelings." So, you know what happens? Then that person is filled with resentment and anger and frustration because they say, well, "they should know by now. This is how I feel." But we're not telling them what we need. So the first thing about speaking our truth, you know, even if it's going to hurt that other person. Okay. I tell people if we say it with love, if we say it with respect, it's our truth. you are not wrong with it because it's how you feel, how that other person takes it, that's on them. That's their responsibility. Now, if I'm being a jerk and I have to come back and go, gosh, I am really sorry. That was so mean, what I said. But if I'm telling you exactly how I feel and what it is I need, The essence of that emotional connection because I am being true to myself. And so many times, Monica, women don't do that because they just don't want to hurt that other person.
[00:18:19] Monica: Yeah. Two things come to mind, Amy, that you mentioned. The first thing you said, it's like when we don't speak up because we just avoid confrontation or it's just easier. I remember writing one of my first blogs was like, use your words. In particular, I was talking about women because have you noticed how women argue with their spouses or partners? It's like they just hold it and they start slamming things and and my brother's the one that actually we were hanging out one day. He's like, why don't women use their words like, we're not that smart. Just tell us what you need. We can't read minds. It's like we would avoid so much if you just spoke up and I'm like, Ooh, solid point, bro. Okay. I'm writing a blog about that. So true. What about when people's truth is just wrong?
[00:19:05] Amy: I guess we probably might have to respectfully disagree on this, to be honest, because I don't think that a truth can be wrong. A truth is truly how a person feels. Let's just say we have a super specific difference on a political issue. I could say all day long, Monica, that is so wrong. Whatever it is, whatever you're saying is so wrong and what I feel is right, but, if we really drill it down, is it semantics? I think it's not just about other people. I think it's about you. It's about what is it for you? in other words, let me give you an example. I feel like rejected in a way because I've met this lady all these times and she doesn't remember me. It makes me feel dismissed in a way. So I'm focusing on how it makes me feel, not her behaviors and her actions so much. It's about how am I responding.
[00:20:05] Monica: Yeah, no, you're right. And it is a lot about responding versus reacting, and I do hear you. Now, one of the things that you really are a huge advocate of is affirmations. Okay. So I know this is something that you do for yourself. I've seen you do it. So give me a little bit of glimpse on how that came to be and why this is so important to you.
[00:20:24] Amy: So it all goes back to the narrative. This is where it stems from, is, if I tell myself I'm not a good reader, I never will be. If I tell myself I will never run a marathon, I won't. If I tell myself that I am not smart, I'll never be smart. That goes from the narrative now to action steps. Because people will be like, okay, Amy, now that I know this, now what do I do? So the action steps, Monica, is we have to start to act as if. When I was in a management position, I acted as if I was a director. When I've been in the PhD program, I acted, as if I completed my dissertation when I was working. Getting sober, I acted as if I was sober. So we have to act as if we are in the place we want to go to. That's the big thing. We have to act as if, so the affirmations, it's basic, but you just, you write down, I am successful. I am smart, I am loved, whatever it is you wanna be, you have to act as if you're already doing it. So the more you practice it, the more it's becomes hardwired.
[00:21:33] Monica: You're talking my language and I think that's where you and I connect really well is in this subject matter. Anything with just personal development and going inward and working. I think you and I both are huge students of humanity and growing and just getting better as we age with wisdom. But I feel like affirmations are everything. And you say act as if, I say just be it. Just be it. What is it that you want? Be it, and to your point, like you rise and amazing what happens, right? We just rise to that occasion. How many times we've been, especially this past year, as many of you know, I've been a stay at home mom for a decade or so, but this year I've been called to step up into different roles and in different stages. I wasn't before, but I'm doing it now. Here I am. I'm doing it. I'm being it, what I want to be. So what are some of your personal favorite affirmations?
[00:22:32] Amy: I love the, I am enough. I love, I am enough because, ugh, so many people they never feel like they're enough, even though they're showing up like 200%. They don't feel like it's enough. And I'm like, what? Like, no, I am enough. I do this a lot. When I was actively teaching, I am enough. And I am okay. Those are really basic. But because I've done so much acute crisis and been around quite a bit of death and dying in those moments, Monica, you are okay right now. Right in this exact moment. And I think that being okay, even if you're not, because oftentimes people don't feel okay, we have to keep telling ourselves because it gets us through those really dicey moments. And then before we know it, that wave has crashed and we're on. You know? So just telling yourself the basics, I am okay. I am enough.
[00:23:25] Monica: There's something really beautiful and natural about the I am Okay. It just feels like you. Like that yummy blanket. Like, you're right, I am okay. I like that. That's a nice one that we can all adopt in our lives. So then the third lesson, Amy and by the way, listeners, there's a lot more to these lessons. We're just giving you a little glimpse of each one. But the third lesson, you really go into the spiritual route and that's a tricky one, right? So how do you define that?
[00:23:52] Amy: Doing the Cliff notes version of this is that what I found for a lot of people is that depending on their upbringing, depending on if somebody grew up with religion or they grew up with no religion, or they grew up with a punishing God, or they grew up with no God or whatever it is, that there can be a difference for people between a religion and a spirituality. Or, for some people it can be all in the same. But, from the perspective of wanting to attract everybody, I took the angle of spirituality because I'm not a theological scholar in any way, but I know for me that my spiritual connection is so important to my daily. Living now for me, my spiritual connection does involve God. But again, it can be whatever a person needs and craves. So I took the angle, Monica, of really starting to give suggestions and what it could look like, because oftentimes people come from a background of having a relationship with a punishing god. Or a negative experience with religion, so that keeps them completely away from spirituality. Hey, what about just having a connection to walking outside in the woods or taking your dog for a walk or walking the kids, or it doesn't have to be in a church or in a synagogue or in a mosque. Spirituality is something that is so personal. It comes from the inside, you know, cuz you edited the workbook. God bless you. Spirituality is something that we have to feel, but it is something that we have to cultivate. It's a relationship we have to cultivate and that's why I love the Roots connection, because spirituality for me, I can feel spiritual when I'm just laying on the couch with the dogs or the boys or the husband or being in a yoga class or being in a pure barre class or being with girlfriends, whatever it is. But it's something that is a very intimate connect.
[00:25:56] Monica: You're right. It means a lot of things to different people and you just have to find your way there. But when you do, it's pretty powerful. And then you go into physical movements. So your third anchor, if you will, is the physical part. So explain that one.
[00:26:11] Amy: The third route is the physical. I've known my whole life. I was an active kid. I've been an active adult. Any type of movement. Now, the like, fancy term is movement. whether it's exercise or jazzercize or aerobics, whatever it is. But I know for me, Monica, and I know you can relate cuz you are the same, I have to move my body. If I don't move my body a. Now at this point I'm gonna be stuck. And b. it's all about being fluid. The fluidity of our muscles, of our hands, our feet, everything, we wanna keep things moving and fluid. And so that's what exercise, that's what movement does for us. So what I love about this lesson is that it really shows people and demonstrates, and trust me, people, I do this, even getting up and going up and down the stairs a couple times, or setting my alarm and walking around the block. I know people use the apple watches now. And it tells them all these things to do. The physical component to a root is so important because we know as we get older we have to be able to move our bodies and it's that connection, that mind body connection that when I am actually exercising, We know that the brain chemistry changes. We know that there are those endorphins. We know there's gazillions of research studies that have been done. It has to happen. I've been an early morning exerciser. I'm one of those crazy people that gets up before the birds, and I've done that since I had Cole, my youngest, I know for me, typically if I don't work out before like 9 AM it's not really gonna happen. So you have to find out what works for you. I don't wanna hear excuses. Trust me, there's a million reasons why I wanna sleep in the morning. you read through that chapter and that lesson and you see that, wow, I guess I don't have to go to a two hour class. I can just get up and, you know, there's simple things, there's simple suggestions that you can do that will just give you a little bit, and it'll go a long way.
[00:28:12] Monica: Yeah. And I love the one example , that you do go back to this a lot because you believe it and it's true. Find your mat and find your breath and that's a really good start. I agree with you. Exercise to me, or movement, I don't like exercise, the word exercise because, to me, somehow exercise denotes like, Diet or like something I have to do. Where it's just part of who I am and if I make it part of my day, I don't, doesn't feel like work. It feels like fun. So for me, I found tennis to be something in my older years, I've really enjoyed it and it's so much fun and you forget that you're actually also getting movement out of it because I don't do it for that. We do it for the friendship and the connection and competition, but mostly for just a lot of fun.
[00:28:54] Amy: I just wanna say, I love that you play tennis because it's such a badass sport. Like it's just so cool that you do that. And I know from what I've seen, like you can really sweat. A lot. So I love this cuz you and I talked about this. I love the name of the last chapter. Lesson five is where the rubber meets the road. And what this really means, Monica, is everything we've talked about, lessons one through four. This is where it all comes together. So this is where you tie in the willingness to be willing, why your truth, your narrative. All this stuff. This is where we put it all in practice. And so in this lesson, there is lots of suggestions on how to incorporate all three routes. It can be done in 20 minutes, it can be done in an hour. It's all about what is going to work for you. So it just ties it all together and wraps it up. There's really great examples and activities, which we didn't even mention in all of these lessons of how to actually practice these things. There's great activities in here and in this final lesson, it's all about, okay, well Amy, people say this, okay, well now what do I do? This is where it all comes together.
[00:30:05] Monica: I love it. One of the exercises you have is the letter to self, and I'm wondering what a letter to your young self would sound like?
[00:30:15] Amy: Okay. I need to show you since we're on video.
[00:30:17] Monica: Okay.
[00:30:17] Amy: Okay. See, look at her.
[00:30:19] Monica: Ah, so cute.
[00:30:20] Amy: I know. I mean, I can't even stand it. It's just like the sweet, like my posture, the Morc and Mindy. So this is obviously little Amy. I put that picture of little Amy in that frame. I don't know how and why, but it was a long time ago. And you know, just coming from a clinical background, I knew that understanding and healing from past childhood trauma, which the majority of us have experienced in some form or another, is that it's really important to go back to that little girl and say, I got you, girl. As an adult, I go to the Big Amy and to the little Amy, and so what this letter does, Monica, is it connects the big Amy or the Big Monica to the little Monica. Really, the goal of this exercise is for you to be able to as an adult, connect to the little girl inside, and that's what I say, picture an outfit, because I think every woman I've done this with, they all have an outfit. They know exactly what they're wearing or how their hair was, or where it was the picture was or whatever. And so the purpose of it is to be able to go back to that little girl and say, you know what? I know you were told this. I know this happened to you. I know this was not easy. Whatever it is you wanna tell her as your big girl self and connect to her and say, you know what, I've got you. I've got you today and I'm never gonna leave you. Now, if I was feeling sentimental, I'd be tearing up. But it's a very emotional experience for a lot of women, especially if there's been like extensive trauma and stuff like this. I've done it in a clinical setting just to practice connecting to that little girl. It's so empowering monica, because you can go to her and just say, girl, I got you today. Because it is the narrative. It is the self-doubt. It is the lack of willingness. It's all those things that come up that have been inside us for so long. So it's the big girl that says, no, we're doing this today and you can do it, and I have you and I'm not leaving you. Put that picture of that little girl next to you so you can see her. I look at her and say, you know what, my God, girl, you have gotten through so much in your life. I feel so blessed in so many ways, Monica, because as hard as life has been, this is my path, this is my story, and that's what I want. I want other women to learn that and understand that, that if you do your work and you show up, and you suit up every day for yourself, all of that, garbage you've been carrying with you gets put on a shelf and it becomes part of your story. You don't have to carry it around anymore. It becomes part of your story. So instead of having that pain with you time and time again, it's up on the shelf. You don't have to take it out. That's what I really hope the workbook can either compliment in a woman's life, cultivate, begin, whatever that process looks like for you. But this is a perfect place to start.
[00:33:21] Monica: That's a great exercise. I remember doing that myself many moons ago, and I think if I really con. Think back, it's probably why I started journaling, and I'm the girl with the pen now. The pen to paper, to me is the most freeing and the most therapeutic way. You can literally for lack of a better word, vomit everything that lives inside of you. Because first of all, in theory, no one else should be reading it. So it's just between you, yourself and I, and you can really just, tell it as it is, and then go from there. That's where the healing starts. So I love that. That's my favorite exercise of the entire workbook. You know, one of the things that you said at one point you said, each lesson will support your desire to put your oxygen mask on first, without guilt, without explanation, without apologies, and through introspection we begin to understand why these practices are critical to long-term mental and emotional wellbeing. And I think that's really well said and sums it up beautiful.
[00:34:14] Amy: Yes, absolutely. You know, I was just speaking to a group of about a hundred mothers the other night. I was telling them, look, I'm not suggesting that we just drop everything and leave on a cruise for six weeks. I'm saying put yourself first. It doesn't mean you're abandoning your family or everything else. Because so many women are like, no I can't do that. And I'm like, girl, I'm talking about 30 to 60 minutes. We're talking about just right in this moment. For some women, it's so hard to conceptualize that they can actually do both.
[00:34:46] Monica: I know we always say we're not trying to eliminate or take you away from your life. We just wanna enhance it. Girls, don't be afraid. speaking of, what do you think is the most required to be really successful in this workbook? What do you think is a number one component?
[00:35:00] Amy: You know, the number one is you have to wanna show up for yourself. Even if you're like, what is this? Why am I doing this? Who said this was a good idea? Trust yourself. Trust your decision. Sometimes we just don't know why we're doing something that we're doing, but we have to trust the process, be patient with it, be patient with yourself, and also it's your turn. It's your time. This is part of the kindling.
[00:35:27] Monica: That is so true, Amy and I agree with you definitely. I will say, if anyone's listening out there, if you really aren't ready to bring you to the exercise, then probably is a waste of your time and money. But if you're ready, trust the process. It's not overnight, we're not offering this magic pill. It doesn't happen the minute you . Download the workbook. It's not like all your problems go away, but if you put in the time and do the exercises, as Amy leads you through each one, I think you'll start to discover that there is something that starts happening. Maybe it's day seven, day eight, day 10. If you keep doing it by day 30, you are gonna be 10 pounds lighter. And I'm not talking about weight like pounds. I'm talking about emotional weight.
[00:36:10] Amy: We're so convinced that this works that we guarantee, hey, if you complete it and you don't feel like you can come back and say, you know what? I gave it all I have, and it just didn't work. We're so convinced it will, we have a money back guarantee. So you can get your money back. But luckily that hasn't happened yet. But hey, if it does. But I do say you have to be willing to meet me halfway.
[00:36:33] Monica: So tell me about some of the happy customers we've had. We launched this a few weeks ago. We had a lot of sales and people are doing this. So tell me, what are some of your clients.
[00:36:44] Amy: Oh my gosh, I've been so excited. We had our first office hours and I almost had to split it into two. We've had so many incredible responses that they really appreciate the videos. They like the videos, walking them through. They love the activities. I'm asking, you know, where are some of your barriers? Where are some of your challenges? Getting really good, honest feedback. I think one of the things that is the hardest for people to really start with is that narrative and how can they give themselves permission to let it go. I mean, Monica, you seen the feedback has been incredible and I think women are really loving this and they're already ready for the next one.
[00:37:23] Monica: I know
[00:37:24] Amy: we gotta get going.
[00:37:25] Monica: I know we do have to get going. We keep talking about it and definitely like we've always said, this is a lifestyle change. It changes everything. And so it's never ending you're never gonna get it done, we gotta keep providing the content to help them. Now Amy, tell everyone what they get when they purchase this workbook.
[00:37:41] Amy: They get a five lesson downloadable PDF, so each lesson has Activities in it, which I encourage you to go step by step. They're all in an order for a reason. Within each lesson, there's also a video, I believe each video is about 20 minutes or so, and it's me explaining the lesson more in detail. They also get office hours with me, so I haven't really narrowed it down to, if it's been monthly or whatever since we just launched. So I had my first office hour after three weeks of the launch, and the office hour is 60 minutes and there's a section in, I believe it's at the end where I encourage The women to write down their questions throughout the time that they're working on it. So a lot of women did that. I was so excited. They wrote down their questions and then they come to me during office hours and they're able to ask these questions. Maybe if they're hitting a barrier. They have some questions about whatever lesson that they're working on. So you get office hours and you also get the lessons.
[00:38:43] Monica: And what is the cost of the product?
[00:38:45] Amy: The cost is $180.
[00:38:47] Monica: We're also offering with that a free letter kit, so that's a little bonus. For $180 that's half about half of the cost of hiring you for an hour. So I feel like that's a pretty good deal alone, just your office hours alone. I'm like, I think I'm gonna download the workbook and just catch Amy for that one hour. That's quite the deal right there. We should also mention that we do offer a lot of scholarships because although we understand that $180 is a value for what they're getting, but we can also appreciate, and it's not lost on us, Amy, that $180 is still $180 and that is a lot of money. So we did wanna offer a scholarship program and are giving many of these away for free. Because we wanna make sure it's accessible to anyone who needs it and is willing to do the work.
[00:39:33] Amy: We have a payment plan as well. We want women to be able to afford this. We know our value and our worth as well. So we're willing to compromise.
[00:39:43] Monica: So what about the ladies whose excuses, they don't have time or they they don't need it? Maybe?
[00:39:48] Amy: I haven't met really any women yet that are like, oh my gosh, Amy, my life is so full. I don't have any deficits. I'm so connected to everything I have yet to meet this woman. If you are out there, please come and tell me what you're doing. But I think that there's value in self-reflection. You know, this is a lot about self-reflection and it's time for you. And then people are like, well, but I don't have time. Well then look, if you don't make. Then it's not gonna be a priority. I say that, you know what if you don't think it's for you, if you don't feel a calling if you feel that your life is completely full and that you are good to go, then maybe it's not for you. But if you think, you know what? Gosh, Amy, there's some things that you've said or I've seen you in your lives, or I've maybe met you in person, or I've read about you doing whatever and wherever, not that they would, but whatever it is. Maybe knew somebody who knew somebody. Be open, be teachable. Be willing, you know, listen, is there anything within you, any kind of spark that says, oh my gosh, I think I can relate to what she's saying. I'm gonna do a little bit more investigation. I'm gonna find out. oftentimes Monica, with anything, we have to feel called to something as well. We have to do that, but we also have to be willing to get outside of ourselves and to take risks. And this might be a risk for some women, it probably is, but you have to trust yourself as well.
[00:41:26] Monica: We all have countless responsibilities and it's so easy to think, you know, not me, not yet. and we're saying no, it is the time. And here's the permission slip to take care of yourself. Here's a little insider info. If you're younger you're really needed because we're gonna save you a lot of headache.
[00:41:43] Amy: I say girl, it's time. It is your time. Show up now. We are here. We are here at the Kindling Project. That's the thing. You and I were talking about this earlier, Monica. We're here. do we know what this is really all about. not necessarily, but are we trusting it? Absolutely. We're here creating this space.
[00:42:05] We're here to say it's your time. We're here to fan and fuel your fire. We are here to say, we got you. We believe in you. We're also gonna hold you accountable. And we're also gonna say, you know what? If you've been telling yourself that all the time, is it really true anymore? Does it still work for you? So this is the time. This is your time. No more excuses. As you say, Monica, we're waking up the sleeping beauties.
[00:42:33] Monica: Yeah. It actively creates a space for you to seek out what truly sets your soul on fire. I think it gives you that moment. We're always talking about those inner whispers, but sometimes we can listen to our whispers because we've got so much going on in our head that is false narrative. For example, what you're saying, that if you clear all that out, it really sort of silences things and the best things come in those quiet moments because that's when you can really hear what's happening and what drives you.
[00:43:01] Amy: Yes, and just to piggyback on that, Monica, you have to clear out some of the wreckage in order to make room for the good stuff. And so that's why this lesson, that's why this workbook is so powerful, and that probably just brings us all to a perfect close. You said, well, how much time? How much time does it take? When you are willing to let go of past thoughts, feelings, hurts, traumas, when you're able, to not let go but work through them, you clear up space for all good stuff, and so when you clear up that space, You find that connection to your roots, you find that critical urgency to stay connected to your roots because you know how important it is to have that daily connection. That is what keeps you going. That is what sustains you for the highs and lows, the adversities in life. That's it.
[00:43:58] Monica: You can check it out. We're gonna put it on the show notes, where to find us, how to get to the website, the free letter kit for those who order and also the scholarship opportunities for someone who's really interested in maybe is struggling with financial situation. we'd love to help you out. But Amy, this was fun. We always leave our show, you know, with a final shout out. So who do you have for us this?
[00:44:23] Amy: Oh my gosh. I wanna say a shout out to you and Melissa. That's who I wanna say shout out to because, you know, I feel like in our group we really walk the walk in so many ways. We're showing up not just for the other women, but I really feel like we show up for each other in ways that are, oftentimes they, they can be uncomfortable because it's growth, but we also move through that and then we get to the other side and it's like, it's just so much better. So I just wanna say thank you so much for showing up for me, and thank you to Melissa.
[00:44:57] Monica: Well, you are very welcome and thank you for saying that. So, listen, how about all the women out there who are struggling amy? Who you know, we are here to say like, we hear you, we see you, we are you. I think as people get to know us through this podcast and through our Facebook community. Please join by the way, because we're really fostering relationships and collaboration and cultivating sisterhood, and we are really trying to uplift each other to the very best versions of ourselves. But I think as people get to learn our stories too, they'll realize there's a lot of beauty in this, in pain, and we have figured out a way to identify that, and that's why we're here. It's not because we don't have scars, we all have scars. But we're still showing up. And so I say to other women out there who feeling maybe alone, you don't have to, please join us because we want you to be part of us.
[00:45:46] Amy: Yes. I love that.
[00:45:47] Monica: Right. Okay, so,
[00:45:49] Amy: perfect.
[00:45:49] Monica: Yes. Fire starters. If you're ready to embark on a journey towards clarity and self-awareness, you've gotta check out our workbook. And until next time, this is Mick signing off. And remember, it only takes one spark to ignite the fire within. Bye.
[00:46:03] Amy: Love that. Bye.