Embracing your choice and living in flow
Sometimes we are forced into a life shift that changes how we view this life. Rachael Phillips re-evaluated her career and the hurry she fostered when she was faced with breast cancer.
Mel and Mic discuss with Rachael her new focus on choosing love over fear and her work with women entrepreneurs to live in alignment with their desired feelings. This episode explores the power of choice, nurturing children's positive mindset, and the importance of eliminating friction and protecting one's energy in the pursuit of peace and calm.
In this episode, you'll hear
Struggling to balance identities, health
Helping women entrepreneurs align personal and business goals
Prioritizing simplicity and calm
Having balance is a myth
Rachael Lou Empowerment: www.rachaellouempowerment.com/
Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/dreamlifeentrepreneurcontainer/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/rachaellouphillips
Instagram: instagram.com/Rachaellouphillips
Listen to the full episode:
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Rachel [00:00:00]:
So it was just stage 1. It was a whole bunch of it. It was all in the one. I had a double mastectomy. It had not spread. But the true strength came out is that one it was supposed to be 2 surgeries turned into 6 surgeries in 7 months because I had almost every type of complication you can have.
Monica [00:00:18]:
Are you ready to spark the flame of creativity? Welcome to the Kindling Project podcast where women come together to share, inspire, and grow, giving us insight into the people and processes that helped them bring their kindling project to fruition. I'm Mick, and I'm joined by my cohost, Firestarter and friend, Mel. Together, we want to ignite your inner spark And help bring your passion projects to life by creating spaces to empower and support you. We're so glad you're here. Let's jump in.
Monica [00:00:52]:
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to The Kindling Project. Today, we get to speak with Rachel Lou Phillips. She's a business activation coach. Hey, Rachel. Welcome to the show.
Rachel [00:01:01]:
Hi. Thank you for having me.
Melissa [00:01:03]:
Thanks for coming. For sure,
Monica [00:01:05]:
I've been thinking about you a lot, Rachel, in all our conversations, and, you have such compelling story. Can you share a moment with us when you really doubted yourself as far as your kindling project?
Rachel [00:01:17]:
It was the day I got the call that I had breast cancer. Sir, you know, you think you're living your life in a healthy, sustainable I thought I was very aware of my energy and my emotions and everything. And then at the age of 41, you know, I was I got the call that I I found it myself. You know, you go through the whole thing where you go to do the mammogram, you do all that, and you think that, oh, it's gonna come back, and it's not anything. And then I got the call that, yes, it would need cancer. And that kinda wakes you up to, like, look at your life like who I thought I was. I thought I was this healthy, but, you know, person, and all of a sudden that changed who I was, what I was coaching around, what I thought, may change your whole reality, let alone it's the middle of the pandemic, and my kids were 7, 5, and 3 at the time. Babies.
Rachel [00:02:02]:
Yeah. So it was quite it was quite shocking. But as I look back, I mean, I know I immediately claimed it as a, a growth partner. Like, I saw it as an opportunity. I immediately was like, I'm not falling into the box of woe is me, cancer. And instead, I chose it as this huge wake up to shift my life to actually get more into alignment with, like, who I meant to be, what I meant to do, and, like, this is my overall message in life. So, yeah, that that was that moment. Like, I think I had to either fall into it in the sadness of what many people would think it would be or a claim what I really wanted.
Rachel [00:02:37]:
And it really woke me up because when you're in that space, you kinda have to hold the energy of how you wanna be treated at that time. Like, I didn't want any of that negative energy of woe is me. What are you gonna do? You know, any of that negative stuff. So I held this powerful energy of, like, this gets to be amazing. This gets to be the opportunity for my children, for my husband, all the things. So, that was my huge moment, and it lasted. It wasn't just that moment because it went on with each time, each surgery, each each time I, like, I had to rally behind myself and claim what I wanted, what my what my passion, what I'm here for.
Monica [00:03:09]:
And And so what do you say to women now? I mean, you had a a big moment.
Rachel [00:03:13]:
Do you sort
Monica [00:03:14]:
of, like, look back and say, obviously, you looked at it as a gift and you took it and ran with it.
Melissa [00:03:19]:
Mhmm.
Monica [00:03:19]:
But why do you suppose we all have we have to wait for that moment, for that call, for that death, for that not so great moment Yeah. To decide that We are better, that we wanna be better.
Rachel [00:03:30]:
Looking back, and this is well, now what I coach around is we're we're trained to not listen to ourselves. We're trained to show up as we should, as we thought it should be or people want it to be or society's pressures. And looking back, there were signs where my body was trying to tell me something's off, Rachel. Something's off. We need a break. Take a break. Take a rest. But as a driven woman, and that's what I wanted to be.
Rachel [00:03:52]:
I had 3 kids. Ahead of business. I had a you know, on the outside, it looked beautiful and wonderful, but the truth was it was at my expense. But I was not willing to admit that because I wanted to be able to have it all. So I think it's mostly that we get caught up in the pressures of maintaining that image of being strong and of being amazing, and we can do anything, and we're not listening to what our heart's really calling to us. And that's now that's really what in my coaching now because that's what I want to work to do is to help allow women to realize that strength isn't just being strong. Strength is being allowed to, you know, ask for support and let your emotions flow, cry, like, be vulnerable, and that is what real strength is. And that is more sustainable then that pushing energy and that keeps showing up and just continue doing until you break yourself.
Monica [00:04:41]:
So what were you doing before your diagnosis?
Rachel [00:04:44]:
Ironically. I I was in the I was starting out in health coaching. Then, like and this is where I tell every woman. Like, I according to stats, I should have never had breast cancer. I mean, I nurse my baby, stats once you've nursed for over 5 years, your chances go down. I've eaten organic and healthy and exercise, maintain healthy weight. My cleaning products are beautiful. My makeup you could eat, my hair is natural.
Rachel [00:05:06]:
Like, I didn't have any of those factors. And so what I used to do is really I was focusing on coaching moms on just kind of, like, finding themselves in motherhood, and that's what I did for myself. And I I truly believe that I was embodying that, but I think the next level it's not just conforming to the role of motherhood, but, like, almost stepping back into this whole me as a woman. Like, all the parts of me were not necessarily being listened to and taken care of. And, so, yeah, when the that breast cancer, you know, came in, I was like, I thought I was a healthy person, but I was taking care of, I think more the physical being and not necessarily as much the mental and the emotional being that we all are. And that is that's an amazing once you go into that, start working on your mindset and your energy and ever all that, that's that's what needed to heal, and that's what needed to shift within myself.
Melissa [00:05:55]:
And do you feel did that heal right alongside the cancer? Are you what what's your cancer status now?
Rachel [00:06:01]:
Oh, yes. I am completely fine. I what the cool part was is that I found it very early. I was not necessarily even doing I I believe that I was being guided. I think we're all guided. You just have those moments where you're willing to see it or not. But, like, I had this moment. Kids were asleep.
Rachel [00:06:16]:
Husband was at work. I went like this, found something. I was like, There's something there. And then went for the mammogram. They nothing came up in the mammogram. Nothing at all.
Monica [00:06:24]:
Oh, that's scary. Mhmm.
Rachel [00:06:26]:
Then I was like, well, what about this ultrasound that that led to a biopsy that was cancerous. I had,
Monica [00:06:33]:
MRI?
Rachel [00:06:33]:
Yes. MRI. Thank you. And that showed 2 more cancerous nodules in the same breast. So I went then then they came back cancerous, and then, I went for a double mastectomy, and there was a 4th all in the same breaths that never showed up. But it was so so small, so small, and I had just gotten really fit and lost, like, £20, and the doctor even told me. Now I don't know what made me wanna go on that journey, but the doctor told me had I not lost that little layer of fat, I probably wouldn't have been able to find it. In a whole year later, it would have probably should have been the mammogram, but also have spread.
Rachel [00:07:07]:
So it was just stage 1. It was a whole bunch of it. It was all in the 1. I had a double mastectomy. It had not spread. But the true strength came out is that 1 it was supposed to be 2 surgeries turned into 6 surgeries in 7 months because I had almost every type of complication you can have from I had multiple infections. At the end, I had a hematoma. Like but each time, it's like I had to dig deeper into who I was and surrender so much more each time too, asking for help, asking for support, you know, even empowering my children to kind of step it up.
Rachel [00:07:42]:
And, like, I'll it was so beautiful, like, their little souls, of how they each got to support me. Even the 3 year old, it blew me away. Like, one time my daughter said to me I was crying. It was before my 1st surgery. I was just having a moment. My boys were off playing. She comes every minute. She sees me crunch.
Rachel [00:07:57]:
She's like, mommy, it's gonna be okay. We're here with you. And then she sat down next to me, put her hand on my thigh. I was like, I'm just gonna be with you because I don't want you to be alone because I was crying. And she just knew just to sit with me. And I was like, it was those moments where instead of feeling sorry, like, oh my gosh. I can't I'm putting you through this. It was more like this proud moment of look at this human I'm raising and look what she gets to step into.
Rachel [00:08:20]:
But, at the same time, it's very exhausting sometimes to maintain that that that look when the whole world is shutting down and all everybody's so in fear. Because, you know, COVID, it was everything was masked because everything was every doctor, every surgery I went into, I couldn't bring my husband. No one could come back there with me. The 1st surgery, I ended up coming home after 8 hours, coming home that same day because I did I didn't wanna be in the hospital by myself. Looking back, it was very it was a beautiful experience. Not for, not for the weak at all, but it was beautiful.
Monica [00:08:51]:
You keep saying things that I I'm picking up on any way. It's sort of like that decision that you have. You can go Left or right? And you just decided how you handled it, your mindset Mhmm. Is incredibly strong and you just choose. It's a choice. And I I don't know that enough people believe that or actually act on it. So many of us sort of sit back and say, well, it's happening to me. Be like, no.
Monica [00:09:15]:
It's actually happening for me. How am I gonna take this and turn it around? Have you always had that mindset?
Rachel [00:09:21]:
I think it was always there. I didn't really realize it or I didn't own it
Monica [00:09:27]:
Mhmm.
Rachel [00:09:28]:
Because, you know, a lot of people would say, well, if I ever have cancer, I would do this or I would be it's like when I have a baby, it's gonna be like you you know, you think how it's gonna go. And until you really do it, you have no clue what it's like to face the the image of the fear around something like that. So one of the things, like, I one of my beliefs is love over fear always. Like, even the midst of COVID, even the midst of cancer. And that's why I told my children all the time when we were going through this life of, like, we're not gonna live in fear. We're not gonna hold back. We're not we're not gonna sink into that vibration. We're gonna choose love, love of our life, love of this moment right now.
Rachel [00:10:05]:
So, yes, I think it was always there. I think the gift in this is that it got to be brought forward, and that muscle of choosing the positive, choosing the love, grew substantially.
Monica [00:10:16]:
That's incredible. I love that. And and is that what you try to coach other women on doing, or does it go deeper than that?
Rachel [00:10:23]:
Yeah. I mean, to the root of it all, like, I mostly now work with women who are entrepreneurs who are trying to have it all and end up, you know, breaking themselves to create this outside entity entity to make themselves successful. I mean, I believe that we're the foundation of our life, so it's all about letting it flow out. So the inner workings behind our decisions and making sure that we're living in alignment with how we actually desire to feel, not just showing up to do the thing that we think we should be doing. So yeah. And that's why, I mean, I I work with women in business, but it's so much deeper. Like, I think that's the most beautiful part of running your own business is that you get to grow with your business if you're in that mindset to absorb it, and that's that's the gift. Right? To keep every time, you know, someone something scares you or something triggers you, are you gonna face it, or are you just gonna change the decision not have to deal with it.
Monica [00:11:12]:
For sure, Rachel. But you say like the so the business is an extension of joy, passion, and peace. And I we agree with you. Mel and I, that's the kindling project. It's find finding, digging deep, really understanding your alignment. What brings what sets your your soul on fire? And from that, things start to flow. How do you but we also get so many, like, well but how do you do that? So how do you respond to the women To say to you, how do I do what you just said? How do I find that joy?
Rachel [00:11:42]:
Wow. It's not it's not something that is just, like, you turn off or turn on. I think it's in every moment of every day that you consciously choose to draw that line in the sand. Okay. My past self would show up this way. What do I want my truth to be in this moment? And over a series of time, you know, you begin to anchor in that new truth. But it's just recognizing that, okay. If I want to change the results, obviously, I have to show up differently.
Rachel [00:12:08]:
Even in the question of, like, do I wanna go out to dinner or not? Okay, the past person would have wanted to be very make everybody happy and just say yes, but you have to step back and be like, okay. Does that serve how I wanna feel in this life? And actually know how do I wanna feel in this life and pause a little bit to make sure that it is and it is you do this is the truth that you want your your response to be. I think we're so unstuck in habit, and we're so busy, right, that we don't even think, and then we give up our power, because the only thing you control in life is how you respond and show up.
Melissa [00:12:39]:
Well and I think that pause that you're describing, So many of us feel like, oh, it's an elusive thing that just happens on accident. Mhmm. Like, somehow, I I lose myself in painting or drawing or jogging or cooking, and, it's random. Like, I just have to wait for that elusive feeling, but, actually, I think you can look for it. You can stretch it out. You can plan for it if you're aware if that's the feeling you wanna have Yeah. That that's what puts you in flow. Celebrate
Rachel [00:13:11]:
your power in seeing that, that it's not just happening willy nilly, that Yep. Your life certainly, is because of your energy, because what you're choosing to focus on, and because what you're choosing to believe.
Melissa [00:13:22]:
Right.
Rachel [00:13:22]:
And it's the coolest thing, especially as a mom, I think, to, like, look at this and then be able to, like, nurture children to embody that so that they can go through life, never having to undo this harsh Right. Reality of, like, is life hard, or do I get to choose? Because I think we all have our wake up calls. Right?
Melissa [00:13:41]:
Well and children are in that flow state So much more easily and more often than as adults. You know? And and I find myself even as a parent. My kids are teenagers now. But, not not stopping them, not, you know, telling them to be practical or stop doing what you're doing and go clean your room or stop making a mess, but just letting them live in that space.
Rachel [00:14:02]:
We just did that this past weekend. My my kids are 11, 8, and 11, 8, and 7 giggling all day, giggling. And my husband and I kept looking. I'm it's just so awesome that they're just free playing and giggling. Like, they have no clue have them we're just, like, embracing and almost feeding off that energy of, like, okay. That feels good. Like, let's why don't we laugh some more now too?
Melissa [00:14:24]:
Right. The lesson is for us, really. Exactly. Right? You don't have to teach them how to be in the moment. You have to remember how to be in the moment. Yeah. Yeah.
Rachel [00:14:33]:
That's beautiful.
Monica [00:14:34]:
So looking back, Rachel, do you what were your limiting beliefs? What was holding you back from your most authentic self?
Rachel [00:14:41]:
I used to really
Monica [00:14:43]:
I thought
Rachel [00:14:43]:
I was rocking motherhood because I did I looked like I had my act together, but it was all at my expense. Taking care of everything, showing up for everybody, taking care of my clients, my Mhmm. My husband, my kiddos, and I was never giving myself the proper the time. And my thing too was like, oh, I have time. I'm gonna go exercise. But it was never to sit still. It was never just to be at peace. It was never just to be calm, and that's what I'm all about now.
Rachel [00:15:09]:
Like, when we said that's where I live where I live now because I crave peace. Like, I used to run marathons and triathlons, and now I'm in that space where I just go for long walks. Let the body just be calm. You get you get so many ideas, and it's not about I think I used to live pushing to create something that I thought I was supposed to create or have, and now I'm much more like, what do I want in this moment? And if anything in my life turns into a push energy or I feel like I'm forcing it, I pull back. Because not only I mean, I don't wanna live like that, but to me, that's cancer causing energy. I'm like, I'm not doing that again. Even our whole household, everybody shows up a little bit differently. The energy definitely shifted.
Monica [00:15:50]:
You also touched on something, like eliminating that friction is what I'm hearing. Like, just eliminate that just makes more of a peaceful life, which is Really what you are striving. That's the feeling you're chasing on a daily basis. So that's your joy
Rachel [00:16:02]:
Yes.
Monica [00:16:02]:
Finding that peace. I hear you. What about when that friction It's close to you. Friends, family, sometimes, you know, that it gets sticky.
Rachel [00:16:12]:
Yes. Well, I think those are the times where, like, I just lean more into like, I know I've learned that I'm never gonna change other people, and other people are not gonna necessarily understand how I live my life. And I know that I trigger a lot of people sometimes because of the piece and, like, just how present I get to be. So when those times, like, I'm not gonna be around anybody like that, it's more like just protecting your energy and knowing that it's not me that they're upset with. It's usually the themselves that's coming out in the comments sort of the thoughts or even the energy. And I'm a beak then that that's, like, the day that then I'll go for a longer walk, or I'm really into Epsom salt baths right now. Like, if I've had one of those days where you're feeling it, like, just go do the math. Like, more time for me to show up, you know, to almost counteract that energy.
Monica [00:16:59]:
I love that.
Melissa [00:17:00]:
Mhmm.
Rachel [00:17:00]:
I
Monica [00:17:00]:
mean, we can all what I I suspect is one of your kindlings is more self care. What does that mean to your point? It's not always hitting the treadmill for 60 minutes. Actually, sometimes it's not that at all. Mhmm. It's just being grounded with the environment or the just going outside that space or that quiet space. It's really beautiful.
Melissa [00:17:18]:
Yeah.
Monica [00:17:18]:
I I, you know, I try to do that every day too. And it is hard because life does get busy.
Rachel [00:17:23]:
And I think the other thing with self care that I used due years ago is I'd be like, okay. I have to I have to meditate and journal. It was more like a force, like, because this is what this is what's gonna make me feel strong or good, and and now it's, like, more like being in flow with when I wake up, I give myself the time to do whatever it feels good to do in that moment, you know, versus it has to look like this. Because I think my body just I mean, everybody's different too. You know, some people really create that structure.
Melissa [00:17:53]:
As long as it's coming from the inside, you know, as opposed to an outward, like, I should I should do, I have to do. Oh. Mhmm.
Rachel [00:18:01]:
So I need to be here. Words. You you said
Melissa [00:18:03]:
Right. Any of that. Right. Right. I mean, I I tend to not be a super structured person in some ways, But, I'm very structured in the sense of, like, what going back inside, what what do I feel like I wanna do today or what's my top priority? And that shifts you know, that's an ebb and flow.
Rachel [00:18:22]:
Mhmm. And when you ask a woman that question who has been living for 30 plus years by taking care of everybody else and doing what she's supposed to or thinks she's supposed to do, like a big question. Sometimes you can't even answer that question.
Melissa [00:18:36]:
Right. If if you've been people pleasing your whole life, you know, doing something for yourself is almost Foreign. It it it takes work. Right? Sometimes it takes a cancer diagnosis, or sometimes it just really takes a Coach or some kind of meditative action of, like, I'm gonna make this shift.
Rachel [00:18:53]:
And knowing that it's not always, it's not always something you see externally then too. You have to trust that it's in there. You feel it and you know it even if no one else can see it and you don't have any proof of it. And then a bit of the more it grows, then you do start people start feeling the energy shift and everything. But I think that's another thing that a lot of us have to work through. And that's why it likes having, like, a guide or a coach is so important to help you see those shifts in the things you're doing when everybody else necessarily cannot see it at the moment.
Melissa [00:19:23]:
Do you find that not trusting oneself is Is a issue that a lot of women show up with?
Rachel [00:19:29]:
Yes. Or yeah. Not trusting, not really knowing, not even really dreaming, you know, like
Melissa [00:19:36]:
Yeah.
Rachel [00:19:37]:
Holding back. I think we've all had someone in our life tell us that we can't, whether or not it's a close person, a teacher, a friend you know? And and so then that those that energy tense. We give it so much power versus what we know we can do. Like, that's what blows me my mind away when especially working with moms is how we will want everything possible for our child, but we hold back on ourselves.
Monica [00:19:59]:
A 100%.
Rachel [00:20:00]:
Like, we were once them. Our lights were once shining so brightly, and then they gotten dim along the way. And the best way for our kids not to is to to show that.
Monica [00:20:08]:
We say that all the time over here. I mean, Rachel, you're talking our language. It's crazy to me how we'll clap it off for our children and tell them to dream big, reach for the stars. And somewhere along the line, we stopped doing that for ourselves. And it's heartbreaking. I, talk about self care going back on what that looks like, sometimes that changes. I was just with my high school friends over the weekend celebrating our friendship. We do this every year.
Monica [00:20:33]:
And it really comes to a place of Gathering, healing, but having so much fun and so much laughter and eating too much and drinking too much and doing all the things, but it didn't matter because that's exactly what we needed for the moment. And you just I came back so revitalized and so reenergized. And I had a friend who kept asking me, but why are you doing the kindling project? Well, why? Why? And and I said, you know what? Sometimes it's just a feeling. And when that feeling is so strong, I just know that's the direction that I'm supposed to be in. And somehow she figured that she's like, yeah. I get that. She goes, gosh. I haven't had a feeling about much in a long time.
Monica [00:21:10]:
That's the problem, and that's what we are trying to Solve for women.
Rachel [00:21:15]:
I call it listening we're so in the head. It's like head letting the heart speak over the head. Mhmm.
Monica [00:21:20]:
And
Rachel [00:21:21]:
we're so in our head because it's it's the logical. It's the accepted. It may everybody's like, oh, yeah, Rachel. That makes sense. Do that. Versus the heart is your authentic self. And oftentimes, that's the wild card. That's the thing that people do not understand.
Rachel [00:21:32]:
They're like, what are you doing? You're gonna start your own business. Mhmm. What you know? And and we're just we need to practice allowing that heart to speak. And sometimes it starts with just when you're in the shower. If that's the only time you have, take the time you're in the shower to just breathe, get out of the head, and listen to the heart, and then start building it from there.
Monica [00:21:50]:
So do you remember when you had a coach yourself? Because you started off with a coach. Right? You're a big advocate. You're a coach, but you also have a coach. That moment, that those words that really broke through, and you're like, oh, shit. This is it.
Rachel [00:22:03]:
I had 1 particular coach, and I believe she came to me because I had been working with her for about 6 months before I got my cancer diagnosis. And I believe it set me up to be able to be in that space and handle it with the, you know, all the grace and power I did. But, like, she really I had that moment of I had she woke me up to how out of alignment I had been living, that I am we were talking human design. And I don't know if you ladies are familiar with human design, but I am, meant to be a I'm a generator. I'm meant to be a leader. I'm meant to just just go with it. Like, I have an inner knowing, and I was had lived all my life asking parents for permission. Even my husband at 1 you know? Like, I was a military brat.
Rachel [00:22:45]:
We moved all the way around, so I was always up leveling, always moving and everything, but I never really owned, like, that I have this natural gift. And once I once she pointed it out, I was like, oh my gosh. It it just shifted everything, and then then I started building that. I mean, it's not like like, again, it's not like you all sudden go from a to z overnight, but it's, like, the awareness and then building that muscle. And I just had, a client tell me yesterday. She goes, it feels like what comes out of you she something like it's amazing. It's so natural. I'm like, yeah.
Rachel [00:23:17]:
It's it's me tapping into my brilliance and trusting it and speaking it. Like, I don't try to be like, oh my gosh. Will she like this or should I say this or what strategy?
Monica [00:23:27]:
Do you use human design for your clients?
Rachel [00:23:29]:
I yes. I definitely I am not necessarily certified in human design. I just believe in, like, the overall outline Mhmm. That it kinda gives me a guide. Like, I believe in, like, using all different tools to be able to get to better understand yourself, know yourself, and love yourself. And, yeah, so human design is definitely a huge part of it because it changed my life in just how I show up now.
Monica [00:23:49]:
Yeah. It was such an eye opener when I did my own chart. And also, for me, my biggest breakthrough was understanding my children's.
Rachel [00:23:56]:
Yes.
Monica [00:23:57]:
It changed everything in parenting. I'm like, oh, that's why they like, we have these moments where we're butting heads. Oh. He doesn't, you know, he does not take in information like I did. That it was a big moment for me.
Rachel [00:24:10]:
It's huge. I think it's gonna be huge into the teenage years, especially. But it's huge because as a mom or a parent, you think, oh my gosh. What am I doing wrong, or what am I not communicating right?
Monica [00:24:19]:
Or Mhmm.
Rachel [00:24:19]:
You know, how can I be so good at communicating with clients, but yet I can't with this child? And once I realized it's not necessarily it's not me, and then I understand him and now yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My little daughter, my youngest is a a projector, and that that's where her her power came out during my cancer. Like, when the way she could just read the room, know what to say, her her little power in this little body, it's like that became very clear to me. Yeah.
Monica [00:24:44]:
Yeah. Aren't they so special that it sounds like your children are really part of the whole journey for you and and it's making you I think I don't know if you said it on this podcast or I read somewhere that truthfully, you show up differently in your world. If you align yourself, the domino effect, the ripple effect, is that not only are you benefiting, But all your people are benefiting, your loved ones, your ecosystems, boardrooms, whoever you're working with. It's just it's a ripple effect. And that's what Mel and I try to really hone in with women. Like, this you being the best you Only amplifies everything in the world, and we start showing up differently. So, I think I may have read that. Are you offering some sort of promo going on now with your clients.
Rachel [00:25:30]:
I have right now. Well, I have, different trainings that I have freebie trainings. Like, the one I love to offer that might resonate with your listeners, is harmony over balance. Balance is like this. You're on this seesaw, and you're gripping and grinding. You can't move because if you do, it's gonna go. Whereas harmony is, like, flowing and it's graceful and it's beautiful and it's you know, it it forgives and everything. And so, like, that's just one example of when you chose instead of searching for balance in motherhood but harmony where it just gets to be softer and easier and, more peaceful for yourself.
Rachel [00:26:05]:
That's just one example of, like, the words that we're using and, like, the images and the feelings of what we're wanting to create. Because I know so many women are out there searching for balance, and I just really like that word.
Monica [00:26:16]:
I Yeah.
Melissa [00:26:17]:
I I I agree with you. Balance is a myth. And, I mean, if you've ever even been in a group of more than 2 people, it's not ever reasonable to assume that you're gonna give equal amount of energy to both people or both jobs or both things. The the one that needs it gets the energy at the moment, and then you have to come back and, you know, fill in the space for the one that doesn't need it or when when it's their turn to need it. And it's it's so counterintuitive when you hear all this, like, we'll schedule your blocks of time or, you know, have this work life balance, and It's not it's not unattainable. You know? You you don't just have all these buckets, and they all get 6 hours. Yeah. That's not how progress happens.
Rachel [00:26:59]:
I feel like every day kinda is a little different just because if you're really in tune with yourself, it can't be that structured because what I want today is gonna be different
Melissa [00:27:07]:
that would
Rachel [00:27:08]:
be what I tomorrow.
Melissa [00:27:09]:
Particularly, like, if you wanna honor feminine energy. It does ebb and flow, right, by the nature of it.
Rachel [00:27:16]:
Mhmm. Yeah, but as far as, like, an offer for what's going on right now, I'm doing a, what I call a 48 it's a free 48 hour dream life entrepreneur experience. So they come into my life, my world. I create a container. There's 10 questions they answer before they come in. And then for 48 hours, I just give them all the love, the support. I help basically mirror back their truth, give them tools and, you know, all kinds of, strategies and tips for basically come going back into alignment.
Monica [00:27:48]:
It's beautiful.
Melissa [00:27:49]:
I love that.
Monica [00:27:50]:
Where are you still struggling as a woman? You're a mom, you your your partner, you're running a business, obviously, always mindful of your health.
Rachel [00:27:59]:
Yeah. At the moment, I feel like sometimes I'm struggling with, like, having the energy for it all. Like, I feel like what I do for myself and for my kids and for my husband does take a and my clients, like, in a good way, it takes a lot of energy. Mhmm. I've been thinking about it. I need to start carving out, like, a half an hour every day just to rest. Because I go walk in the woods and everything, but it's still it's like, I think the more aware we become of the power of our energy and what we're able to give, at the same time, the more we need to put back in. And I think I'm trying to kinda figuring that out.
Rachel [00:28:31]:
This year is gonna be calm. All I want is calm and peace. So but I think we're in a really good I can feel the difference. It's neat when you when you do what you do and you do all this inner work and then you know it's happening within you, but then you can see it playing out in your family dynamic. I love that. I can tell it's Yeah. It's different.
Monica [00:28:48]:
I know. It's hard, though. I feel like you are probably a step ahead of many women where you have done the work. You've reflected. You are already passed laying the in the personal development transformation. It said, do you struggle when you're around women who either don't see it, don't value it, dismiss it.
Rachel [00:29:08]:
Mhmm.
Monica [00:29:09]:
And or do you try to do you find yourself trying to coach Women up? Or
Rachel [00:29:13]:
Yeah. I've had to learn that so many times because you can't you can't force it. Someone has to be ready and willing to learn. And I know we all know this, that our heart sometimes gets so big, and I've tried to coach people before they were ready. But now what I do is you know, I'm just always kind in my energies. I'm still, like, of a positive, uplifting energy, but I always take it as an opportunity to celebrate how far I've come. Like, anytime I see someone further behind, like, not that not wrong or right. I'm just like, wow.
Rachel [00:29:42]:
I remember when I used to be able to look how far I've come and how amazing is that that I see life this way. Because I think the more we celebrate and get into that vibration and show people what's possible, the better. And sometimes I think in order to try to lead them. It's almost like you're going down to their energy in a lot of ways. I'd rather just maintain mine.
Melissa [00:30:01]:
I think that's super important for any of us doing energy work. That's a drain. That's a drain when you chase those holes or you try to fill those holes for others,
Rachel [00:30:11]:
and
Melissa [00:30:11]:
then and then you can't shine your light The way that you're describing.
Rachel [00:30:15]:
Yeah. And that's why sometimes for me, it's even you know, people come into my world, and I can see how I can help them, but it doesn't resonate and they're not ready to not take it personally. It's like Right. I've done Yeah. My part. If it doesn't, you and I always trust. I'm like, whatever interaction I have with a human, she got what she needed from me, and that was it. Even if it's not a big package or a long term thing, it's you know?
Melissa [00:30:37]:
Right.
Rachel [00:30:38]:
What she she needed in that moment. You know?
Monica [00:30:41]:
In that moment. Yeah. I'm such a fixer myself that that's probably if I reflect back on this year has been That I have to just stay at my level and show by example
Melissa [00:30:54]:
Yep.
Monica [00:30:55]:
Versus try to teach And implement someone else to change. That's never gonna work. Now that sometimes creates a lot of distance between me and people.
Rachel [00:31:03]:
Mhmm.
Monica [00:31:04]:
Even people I used to love and really be close to. That's been a hard distance to sort of, reconcile, but it is something for me, it's the only way forward Without them feeling like I'm going sort of in that, you know, hole with them. So what would You tell the women who are maybe okay. So with the women who aren't ready, who are like, no. I I'm good. Life is fine. I mean, why you know, feeling like maybe like, we're judging them or that's which I never wanna make anyone feel like their life is not important and what they're doing is important. But do you have, like, a little kindling that you just leave behind for those women just to get their the brain's moving a little bit or thinking differently.
Rachel [00:31:44]:
I mean, I can't I think the thing that comes up a lot, even the women that I talk to, is that, you know, we're still looking at I can't or I don't or if I do, it's gonna cost or it's gonna be too much time or it's but no one's ever willing to look at, like, okay. What's what's it gonna cost you on the other end of, like, if you don't make these shifts in the quality of your life and the memories you're making and your child and yours connection. You know?
Monica [00:32:05]:
That's a good one. Mel, what do you say to women sometimes when they're just not ready to listen? What's your one little kindling?
Melissa [00:32:12]:
I mean, I try to remind them that if if you don't know what it is or you don't think it's there or you don't value it, that pause that Rachel was describing. Like, where is it that you get quiet, that you lose time, that you feel, you know, you're in the flow. That's where the information is gonna come through come through to you. You know? It can and it doesn't have to be, like, some grand gesture. You don't have to be scaling your company, and you you you could be organizing your closet. But where is it that you get the information just flowing through you? And most people do actually understand that feeling. I think I mean, I'm not particularly athletic, but People in sports really understand that activity, like when I'm jogging or when I'm in the zone of shooting baskets. And artists, you know, when I'm painting, like, when the information flows through you, that's that's where the answers lie.
Rachel [00:33:09]:
To make I I like what you're saying with making room and and, yeah. And it's funny. I used to be a marathon runner. I used to run, and that was my high. And I think that's what happened. Like, you know, then I had to change it into, like, now going for walks, and the running used to be like, oh, how far and how fast? And I used to be really fast. I ran the bottom line.
Monica [00:33:28]:
Good job of you.
Rachel [00:33:29]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yay. And I do. I think I will get back into it's just like honoring the season you're in. You know? And, like, right now, just like, my body just wants peace, but the the walking gives me that that connection. Like, I get those downloads. I get to hear things and speak.
Melissa [00:33:45]:
Yeah. It does happen on some sort of cosmic or spiritual or creative force, whatever language you like. It does happen on another energetic level. And if you're too busy pleasing or you're too busy pushing or you're too busy working, Trying, struggling, that's not the energy for reception.
Rachel [00:34:05]:
Yeah. And just being able to see how amazing you are. Yeah. Because sometimes step back to see what we've created or what we've called in or attracted in or because we're just like we just like, oh, well, that just happened. That just happened. I'm just busy. Yeah, it's addicting, though, once you start seeing it. Like, once you start realizing that, wow, my energy causes and calls in and has this power.
Monica [00:34:27]:
I know. It is wild.
Melissa [00:34:29]:
Yeah. My I have that sense of my human design is a manifester, and I do think that oftentimes, it is, like, sort of amazing and overwhelming when I when I just think it. You know? When I try too hard, it doesn't happen, but, like, when I'm in the flow of envisioning and participating, I guess, like cocreating with the universe,
Rachel [00:34:51]:
yeah.
Melissa [00:34:51]:
Holy holy shit. Stuff just starts happening. It shows up. Like, I get these weird goosebump moments of, did I even have anything to do with this?
Rachel [00:35:00]:
This house we're in, I feel like we manifested it, my husband and I, because we've been in it 2 years. It was right during the period of time where everything was so hard to get. Houses were going crazy selling. And he found and I told him I was like, I don't even wanna go looking because I don't want the stress. I just had my last surgery. Like, I'm good. He found it. We went and looked at it immediately.
Rachel [00:35:20]:
I was like, this is my healing house. I called it that. We put in a bid, an offer. Many offers came in, but our real our real estate agent told them that I was calling as my healing house and told them about my story. And then because of that, they took our offer. Even there was higher offers and everything, they they took our offer, and it was like, wow, universe. Like, Right. In the in the good in people.
Rachel [00:35:43]:
Like, it's just so cool when people are kind and good. Yeah.
Melissa [00:35:47]:
Right. And I think they are. I think I think that's important to remember is that most people are. It's all in there.
Monica [00:35:54]:
Yeah. So what's next for you? What's in for your kindling project? What's the next phase?
Rachel [00:35:58]:
Believe it or not, I just took I'm gonna be teaching PE at my kid's school 2 days a week. Yes.
Melissa [00:36:05]:
Yay.
Rachel [00:36:06]:
I wasn't necessarily looking for that, but they they needed somebody and I was like, oh my gosh. I can teach little humans. Like, I'm gonna work with them about like, not just let's move our bodies, but the why and the energy and nutrition this all like, all the stuff the stuff I coach moms around, but I'm gonna start with the little humans. So that's gonna be fun. Quite a new adventure. That. Yeah. So that's really, really cool.
Rachel [00:36:28]:
And, like, right now, I'm running a mastermind. I have the dream life entrepreneur mastermind I'm running, plus I do the 1 on 1 coaching. So, yeah, we'll see we'll see where it goes with these little humans.
Monica [00:36:37]:
Yeah. And you're still really busy mom. I mean, you've got Yeah. Lots of little stilt.
Rachel [00:36:42]:
And we have a puppy, and we have 2 kids. We got a puppy in the summertime, which was really, really crazy. He's 6 months old now, but he's a big dog. He's a great Pyrenees, so he's already 80 pounds. 80 80 That big dog. Yeah.
Melissa [00:36:55]:
And that's a lot of hair. Yeah. Oh my gosh. My dad just got a great Pyrenees. Really? They're in their seventies. And I'm like, and they live in in, Northern California on a hillside where it's, like, prickers and Yeah. Dirt and horses. And I'm like, what are you gonna do with all that white hair? It is.
Rachel [00:37:12]:
He's very pretty, very fluffy, but it is a lot of hair. And Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of energy, and he is so strong.
Monica [00:37:19]:
Yeah. You mentioned so many big themes of beauty and pain, harmony, alignment. Like, all these beautiful things that you're trying, not only living for yourself, but also sharing with other women and now littles even. What is the if you could give one takeaway For the women listening today, what is the the one kindling that you wanna leave behind to be remembered for?
Rachel [00:37:44]:
I'm gonna say that love over fear. I know I said that earlier, but I think that is, like, the key to everything. Whatever decision you're making, whatever obstacle, whatever, you know, you know, anything, it's always love over fear. And if we could get like, that's the prime example. Fear is of the mind of the outside world, but love is within. And so it's like choosing yourself over the external pressures or shoulds or rules. And, mostly within that, the gift and the message should be love of yourself, yeah, over the fear Yeah. Everything else.
Monica [00:38:15]:
That's beautiful. Thank you, Rachel, so much. So can you tell the listeners how to find you, please?
Rachel [00:38:19]:
Yes. I have a website. It's, Rachel Liu empowerment, and then they can also find me, Rachel Liu, on Facebook, and Rachael Lou Phillips for Instagram would be the best places.
Monica [00:38:34]:
Okay. We'll definitely put all your handles, on our show notes. So thank you so much for your time, Tay, and thanks for sharing some of your wisdom with us. It's been really wonderful.
Rachel [00:38:42]:
Thank you for to be reminded of just speaking these words, being in this vibration. So thank you for the gift of that.
Melissa [00:38:50]:
We can feel it. It comes True. Good. I just love your energy. Yeah. Thank you. I'm glad you're in your healing house. I'm glad you're sharing Yeah.
Melissa [00:38:57]:
This positivity. Life is good.
Monica [00:38:58]:
And I hope you continue to be healthy, by the way, I'm sending good energy vibes your way that way. And Thank you.
Melissa [00:39:05]:
And feel free to join us. We have a Facebook, online community. There's a lot of women there, The Kenley Project Ignite, we'd love to have you.
Rachel [00:39:13]:
Okay. Yeah. Definitely. That sounds
Monica [00:39:14]:
great. Alright. Okay. Well, thanks, everyone. Thanks for listening in. Until next time. It only takes 1 spark to ignite the fire within.
Monica [00:39:22]:
Bye. Thanks for tuning in. Wanna help us keep the fire going? Share this episode, give us a rating, And subscribe for more awesome content. Also, want access to lots of freebies to fuel your passion project? We'll head over to our website and sign up for the weekly emails. And finally, calling all fire starters. We'd love for you to join our community at the Kindling Project Ignite Facebook group. Bring your ideas, goals, and questions to the group. Remember, no matter where you are in the process of your kindling project, there is a place for you among the rest of the women.
Monica [00:39:58]:
Thanks again. Until next time. Keep stoking the fire.